Candy ✔ (In Editing)

-Chapter Forty Nine

"What was that?" Lisa asked as we entered Wayne's hotel. Wayne went for a celebratory party with his teammates after winning the game. Lisa and I would've gone too hadn't Justin dried up all my pretences and of course Lisa just went with me.

"What was what?" I asked, taking a bottle of water from the mini bar. On second thought I need something stronger. I searched for a bottle of alcohol. Any type of alcohol would be fine, I just wanted to get drunk off my ass and forget about that cheating bastard.

"You kissing Justin?" She said with a raised brow. Her face wasn't as accusatory as I expected, it was just questioning. I finally found a bottle of tequila.

"Shots?" I wiggled the bottle and she sighed. Yup, I was totally avoiding her question but for the right reasons. I didn't know what just happened with Justin. I didn't know what to call it. Could it be closure? No, of course not. Closure seems way more painless and freeing than what I'm feeling. I feel suffocated and confused. I really want to trust him but I can't. No matter how much he claims to love me, he doesn't love me enough because if he did he wouldn't have cheated on me. And if he did it once what's stopping him from doing it again next time. No I can't risk that no matter how much I love him. I would've forgiven him for almost anything but cheating, no that is a deal breaker to me and he knew it. He swore not be just another one of my exes but look how things turned out.

"Fine but if I have a hangover tomorrow you're nursing me back to health." I nodded although knowing it was a lie. I was a responsible  drinker, Lisa knew that, but not today. Tomorrow we will both be nursing our hangovers.

"Ah great there's no lemon or lime." She grunted.

"Who needs it anyway." I said and poured eight shots with tequila. I passed four on to Lisa and shot mine down my throat and shook my head at the taste.

"Woooo!" I hit my hands on the mini bar table. The liquid burned my throat but it felt good. Lisa shrugged and took her shots just like I did. She then scrunched her face in distaste. We downed more shots, sticking our tongues out and scrunching our eyes and nose at the taste.

"Yeah no, I ain't drinking that no more." Lisa shook her head as she grabbed a beer instead.

"Pussy." I muttered as I downed the shots I had poured for us. I then slumped down on the bar stool. I chuckled when I heard Lisa let out a distressed sigh.

"Girl problems?" Lisa frowned, taking a huge gulp of her beer.

"That would have been way better." She said as we moved onto the couch. We called room service for dome finger food and snacks. Hot barbeque buffalo wings, fries, deep fried onion rings, slow cooked ribs, chips, yoghurt, two bottle of the most expensive bubbly and other stuff. The person who received our call was very surprised especially because it's at such an odd hour. I guess I can say I'm drunk now?

"So what is it then?" I asked and picked the tequila bottle up wanting to drink the liquid straight from the bottle but Lisa stopped, saying I'm signing up for alcohol poisoning like that and handed me a beer instead.

I'm sure alcohol poisoning would be better at this point. My heart hurts even more since I kissed Justin. It feels like I'm holding in these pent up emotions that could come out at any given time. I thought I had said all I needed to say to Justin but it doesn't feel like enough. I don't feel like I said enough but at the same time I feel like there is nothing left for me to say. In school we were taught to talk to someone we trust when we were confused. But how do you voice out what is troubling you when even you don't have a clue. Mama always knew how to deal with me like this but how could I ask for her advice when she doesn't even know her daughter is married unless Tumi told her but I really hope not. Justin and I are getting a divorce anyway so my parents don't need to know. They can always presume that their daughter is going to die alone without ever getting married. That sounds just fine to me.