Candy ✔ (In Editing)

-Chapter Forty Eight

The basketball game was packed. We came two hours before the game begun but people were already pushing through the line to get into the game. Then there was press and sport commentators that were reporting live while some people tried to subtly throw in a wave to the camera and get a fan interview. Yup, it was that crazy. Luckily for us Wayne set us with VIP tickets, so we got the best seats and didn't have to stand in line.

Justin would have loved to see the game. He loves basketball and we were already planning on coming to this game together before the whole mess.

We could have been here, dressed in matching sweaters that had Wayne's name. We would have been so cute and I would love to see him excited about something other than his job or me. But I guess it is useless dwelling on the what ifs. From this morning I decided to fake it until I make it. There's no point in denying it but I'm the classic wife who is completely miserable without her cheating husband. I have become yet another wife who is nothing without their husband, who no matter what their husband does to them, still loves their husband wholeheartedly.

In all my years of existence I never imagined this for myself, I bet no one does. When I was six years old what I wanted to be was a strong independent woman. I liked the word independent a lot because it sounded so fancy and important. Of course being an independent woman wasn't a career but six year old me was so stubborn she wouldn't hear it. But then I grew and realised that I can be a strong independent woman but I needed a career to make a living. That was the difficult part, I never liked a specific career. Even after I finished high school I didn't know what I wanted to study and taking a gap year was not an option so I put all my scholarship offers into a hat and picked one. Software Engineering in Coding was the lucky pick. Although I liked it, it didn't seem like something I could do until I retire so after I got my degree I moved on to Business and Finance. I thought it would be thrilling but truly speaking it is boring. I just have no interest in it and I guess I'm yet to find something I'm passionate about like Justin is for real estate. Ugh, its always about him, isn't it?

Anywho as I was saying I wanted to be a strong and independent woman and I was one, but it was before I got mixed into Justin's life that I started neglecting my own and relying on him. I lived with him and didn't even offer to pay rent like I normally would do. Mama would be disappointed. This is not how she raised me. She didn't raise a weak girl who changed her hair to look more appealing to her partner, she didn't raise a girl who only a few days ago was thinking of quitting her job simply because her husband made her believe she was meant for greater things and he would help her to climb to the top without breaking a sweat, so basically a free ride to the top. What happened to starting small and climbing my way up without the help of my 'rich' husband?

God, I am a lost soul. I fucking lost soul with no direction in life, just gliding in the direction of the wind. Where ever the wind blows, that's where I am.

But the positive news is Lisa stopped having that pitiful and sympathetic look on her face after I pretended I was fine. Of course she knew I wasn't better but she let me pretend and I'm thankful. Lisa is one of the only constant things in my life right now. Cara is gone too, I haven't had time to think of her. I honestly felt guilty. I can't remember how many times my finger hovered over her contact on my phone. Although Cara has been off lately, I still miss her and it's very disappointing to know that she doesn't feel the same way. She never called or texted so I received the message quite clearly.

"Oh shit." Lisa cursed, pulling me out of my thoughts. The players were on the court, getting hyped up to begin. Wayne sent me a wink and I stuck my tongue out at him before one of his teammates pulled his arm forcing him to look away from me.

"You good?" I asked her. She nodded but gulped her drink then turned to look at me and grabbed my shoulders looking me straight in the eye.

"So here's the thing... Justin is here, one 'o clock. I'm so sorry I didn't know he would be here otherwise I wouldn't—" I placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her ranting. Lisa never rants and it's in these small acts do I see her affectionate side seeping through. The one side of her that reminds you that you're her friend and she's got you. Because behind the hard exterior Lisa Lockhart is an amazing person and the lady who will win her heart will be the luckiest lady on earth.