𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭- 𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐤𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐄𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

Y/n

"Get off me stop hugging me I hate being close to people or even getting touch stay six feet apart from me" I said shoving him off me

"Why aren't you affectionate?" He mumble

Honestly I couldn't even answer that question I'm simply like that I don't like being touch or hug or even saying my feelings I rather bottle everything up

Is how I am honestly .

"I don't know" I mumble under my breath

Hoping he'll let me go soon

Once he finally let's go of me he kisses my forehead making me flustered I never felt warm and felt a tug on my chest I'll be stupid if I didn't know what this means

'He's the one Heaven place on earth when you're with him' the voice caught me off guard but I knew what it meant

But I can't get close to him my life is such a mess I don't wanna get him involved

Isn't it pitiful having the right person for you but it's the wrong time for you to be with them .

If the world was build for us then maybe in the future I'll be able to be with him peacefully but until I manage to get my life together I can't get involved with him

Also he's known for sleeping around and I don't wanna get hurt and be pathetic and cry over my heart being broken

Been there done that .

Pulling away from him I went to my night stand and roll up my blunt and sat down as he looks at me

"Why do you smoke?" He says

"It's medicinal" I said and brought the blunt to my lips and lit it up

He came towards me and laid me down on the bed and was on top of me

"You've so many secrets, you're so beautiful yet so mischievous you hold a dark side yet you act as everything is fine. Let me be yours and let me hold you when you and make sure you'll be okay now and in the future . I won't run I'll stay with you now and forever"

A smile appears on my face

"What makes you so sure it's forever don't give promise you cannot keep" I said

I look at him in the eyes and saw the future and what it holds .... Pain

Lots of pain I can have him for a minute and then I'll lose him I can see ahead of time

Oh hawks . You'll be in danger sooner or later .

And I cannot interfere.

"I'll give you my word" he says breaking me out of my thoughts

" no Can do , don't say things you know you won't achieve" I said

Because In the end I'll end up hurt

Such empty promise seriously

I exhale my smoke and push him off

And ran my fingers through my hair

"You have a house don't you stop coming to mines" I said turning back to him

I can see it hurts him and I can feel his emotions

Confused and anger and sadness

Is for the best

" do you really want me to leave ?" He asks getting up

"Yes" I said

He came closer to me and slam my back against the wall and held onto my shoulders looking at me in the eyes

" do you really believe that ? Do you really want me to leave?" He says angrily it vibrates off his chest

"Yes leave" I said looking back at him

"Then why are you crying?" He says angrily yet with some concern in his eyes

Crying ? When did I start crying .

I turn my head around and take my hands and whip my ears and bring the blunt to my lips .

For fuck sakes this is so embarrassing I can laugh but I'm trying to hold back my tears

" you're a terrible liar" he said and pulls back and slams the door shut as I look at him leaving my apartment

" I'm sorry" I manage to whisper as I put out my blunt and laid in my bed hugging myself

His love is so scary . I never felt love it scares me

All night I cried and no sleep came to mind it was scared away when he came in

This is torture I know the future and yet I can't help him out he brings this upon himself . And that will be his punishment

I wanna drown myself in liquor and forget all this and forget him damn if I didn't meet him I'll be happy

But yet I can't believe that lie he brought adventure to my life when it was dull

I wish I can dance with him under the moonlight but that will be impossible

Looking at the clock

2:30am

I get up and put on slippers and my robe and rub outside with my keys walking down the empty streets no soul was out this late

Finally my tears came out I teleported to a top of a mountain and cried as I look over the city .

" why does it hurt so much?" I question to no one

" because you're stubborn"the voice says again

Harsh much ? Was my thought

"Because he's in front if you and you want him away from you only you can help him from trouble .... Why he's your soulmate you and him have been reincarnated 1,000 years you've been reincarnated you're made for him but in the previous past life you never once have gave him a chance he has died alone all these years loving you and he's willing to love you a thousands more"

It took me a while to process

Like seriously

" so we've met before more then once ?" I ask

Trying to think about the new information

"Yes and he has love you for a thousands years"!

I sat down and brought my legs to my chest

"Does he know about this?" I ask

" not yet but once your souls get attach to each other he will and memories of the past will come to him but it will take time because that only happen when he's about to die or is facing death" the voice says

"Then how come I don't remember ?" I ask

"Is better to make new memories then relive the old ones let go of the past and start a new" the voice Says

"Don't walk away from him this time . He's really trying don't push him away"

"Ok" I whisper and look out to the sun that was now raising

I didn't know what to now but maybe a try won't hurt .

Let's see how this goes .