Linstead- Love Me Until The End

Chapter 3

W= Will          V=Voight         E=Erin         J=Jay

JAY'S POV

It felt good to be home and to hold Erin in my arms again. She says things have changed; with us? Does she not trust me anymore? Did she move on? Does she not love me anymore? I am going over to Hank's house tomorrow morning to talk to her but I can't stop thinking about what's on her mind.

J- Hey Will, wanna go grab some beers at Molly's? I gotta get out of this house to clear my mind or I'm gonna go crazy

W- You've only been back in Chicago a week and you're already bored?

J- Nah just Erin said some stuff to me today that has my mind going so I need a distraction

W- What kind of stuff?

J- Said that things have changed and we need to talk about us, but I don't wanna talk about that, I just wanna grab some beers and watch the game. You down?

W- Ya sure, lets go... but make sure you go talk to her ok?

J- Ya ok

I thought it was weird of Will to be giving me relationship advice. On the other hand, maybe he's talked to Erin? Maybe he knows if she's moved on or not? I mean, he's the one who's been around here not me. I wouldn't blame Erin, I was gone for so long but I love her so much. It would kill me to see her with someone else. All I want is her laying in this bed with me, snuggled into my side with her head on my chest. I always sleep better with her near me. I grab my phone to text her:

J- I hate how empty my bed is, I wish you were here cuddling with me...

E- It's still hard to sleep without you...

J- Soon xo see you in the morning

ERIN'S POV

I spent all night thinking about Jay and wondering how today's conversation would go. He's been through a lot and I don't want to overwhelm him, but I've been through a lot too. He needs to know, no matter what. Hank's been a great support system and I'll always need him, but I need Jay more. As I was deep in my thoughts the doorbell rang, Jay is way too early! I started to panic; the house wasn't cleaned up, the baby wasn't awake, and neither of us were ready to give him the biggest news of his life. Hank opened the door before I could tell him not to. "Hey! I couldn't sleep so I decided to go for a run and ended up here. I hope you don't mind that I came over early?" Jay explained and stepped through the door. I looked like I was up all night with an infant, which is exactly how my night went and had consumed approximately 3 sips of my coffee. "No, it's fine come on in. Sorry for the mess." There were baby toys and apparatus' all over the living room. "Did Olive have another baby?" Jay looked confused knowing Daniel was too big for these toys. Hank looked at me and excused himself from the room into his home office. "Jay, can you sit down? I need to tell you something. I should of told you yesterday but I didn't want to overwhelm you and just- please don't be mad..." He sat down and stared waiting for me to spit it out. "After you went back the second time, I found out I was pregnant a few months later. I swear I did not know that first month we talked! I had constant morning sickness, so I took a test and then went to see Natalie at the hospital to confirm it. That night I tried reaching you and moving forward I never got a hold of you. We have a baby boy, Jay. His name is Aiden Henry Halstead." Jay's hand covered his mouth in shock. I couldn't tell if he was happy or sad, or even mad. "So, it must have been our engagement celebratory nights?" He responded. I smiled and nodded, still waiting for him to say something about Aiden. "Hmm. I'll be back" Jay left in a hurry leaving me a little hurt and a lot confused.

In the meantime, I was able to shower and feed Aiden when he woke up. While he was playing on his play mat I picked up the living room a bit.

E- I don't understand why he would take off like that. He didn't even ask about him? Does he even care?

H- Erin calm down, give Jay some time to process this. What did you expect?

E- I don't know. I guess I expected him to be more excited, maybe ask to meet him? It doesn't seem right for him to run out on us like that. But I've been wrong before...

H- He'll come around, just give him time. Now let me see my grandson (takes him from Erin's arms)

JAY'S POV

"UGGGH, WHERE IS IT???" I yelled out loud. I know my dad's an asshole but he wouldn't have thrown my stuff away. I must have looked through 20 boxed before I gave up. I sat on the ground in my childhood bedroom, feeling defeated as I lost two of the most important things to me. I'm so mad at my dad, he must have packed these boxes and misplaced them. What am I supposed to do now? I left Hank's without an explanation. I have a son who has no idea who I am. I've missed out on so much, but I can't miss anymore.

*Knocking on Hank's door*

J- Hey...I'm really sorry I left like that

E- It's ok, I'm glad you came back ( lets Jay in)

J- You did catch me off guard, I wasn't expecting you to say we have a baby. A million things were racing through my mind when you said those words that I honestly think I need you to tell me the whole story from beginning to end again, but with more details. I want to know everything, Er. I can't believe I wasn't here for you and I'm so sorry you had to go through it alone.

E- I know you would have been there every step of the way if you were here. Are you happy? You kind of stormed out when I told you.

Jay grabs her hips and pulls her closer

J- I am so happy, were parents...

E- We sure are, I think it's time that you meet your son...

Erin goes into the kitchen to grab Aiden from Hank and returns to the living room to Jay

E- Ok Aiden, I want you to meet your daddy. He is the best guy that I know and you are going to love him as much as I do.

J- Wow, he is so small and handsome. I think he looks like you.

Jay rocked Aiden back and forth while talking to him. It melted my heart to see their instant bond. "I ran back to my parents to find some of my baby things, I wanted to give them to Aiden when I met him. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find them, I just wanted him to have a piece of me, even when I'm not around. I don't know what I'm saying, he's used to me not being around..." "Jay, stop." Erin blurts out. I look up to see her holding my baby blanket and bear. "Where did you get those babe??" She smiled and we all sat together on the couch. "Your mom gave them to Aiden when he was born. She wanted him to have something that was yours to remember you, but I think getting to grow up with you is even better." Erin leans in and kisses me tenderly. This made me a little emotional at the thought of my mother meeting my son and her being so thoughtful to give these to him. I can picture her holding him. Erin snaps me out of my thoughts, "Jay, you good?" "Yeah, I was just thinking about my mom meeting Aiden. She would have been the best grandmother, I hate that she's not here." Erin leaned into my side. "I agree, I miss my mom too. Your mom was so happy she was still here for the birth. I think that's what she was waiting for, to meet him. She passed 2 weeks later." Jay squeezed me a little tighter after hearing that.

"Er, I know a lot has changed and we still have a lot to figure out but I need you to know that I still love you. I always will. I know we had these big plans but then I had to leave and you thought I died.. sorry I know I'm rambling. I guess what I'm trying to say is you're not wearing your ring and we don't need to figure it all out in the first 48 hours, all I need to know is if you've moved on?" Erin pulls out her gold chain necklace with her engagement ring hanging from it. "I love you too, I meant it when I said yes."