To Be Alive And Desired

Chapter 15: Years Later

8 years have passed since that night Elise Campbell almost left her family to be with Holden Bennet. She hasn't seen him since.

Right now, Elise is sitting at the kitchen table with Trinity and Minnie, and is almost done telling them the story of her romance with Holden. As Elise tells it, she remembers it clearly in her mind.

Elise: I cried in my car for a while after I sent the message. Then I went home. I cried in the shower so no one would see or hear me. I did that a few times that week. I went back to my normal life. Outside I smiled so everyone thought everything was ok, but on the inside I was miserable. I missed Holden, and Blair. Minnie, your play was the first thing I got to enjoy for a few minutes without thinking of what I had lost. When you were on stage, all I was focused on was you. But once you weren't up there anymore, I kept thinking of Holden. I kept thinking "This is it. I'm back to this being my life, and it won't ever change".

Trinity, now 22, and Minnie, now 17, both listen intently to their mother.

Elise: For about a month things were pretty awkward between your dad and me. But eventually, everything went back to normal. The usual routine. The usual workday. But I never stopped thinking of Holden, and we always kept in touch. We talked about meeting up multiple times throughout the years, but it never happened.

Minnie: When you look back on it, do you EVER feel bad about it? I mean, you were cheating on dad with some younger guy AND his girlfriend.

Elise: I did. Especially when your dad got sick. Seeing him like that made me feel bad for everything I ever did to him.

Trinity: Now that dad passed, have you thought about seeing Holden?

Minnie: Trinity!

Trinity: You'll understand more when you're older.

Minnie: I'm seventeen. I'm more mature than you two were at my age.

Elise: Minnie, please. I have. To be honest, I never stopped thinking about seeing Holden again. Being with him again.

Trinity: What happened to Blair?

Elise: They broke up a couple years after they left. The reason I'm telling you this is because Holden is coming back here.

Trinity smiles but Minnie is not happy at all.

Minnie: How can you be so happy!? Mom, you cheated on dad and now you're telling us that the guy you cheated on him with is coming here? Did you ever really love dad?

Elise: Sweetie, listen to me. I loved your father very early on into our relationship. And you know what? I never stopped loving him. I won't ever stop loving him. He was a great husband and father. He was also one of my best friends. With this story, you may think I don't care about him, but trust me.-

-She gets tears in her eyes.-

Elise: -I miss him.

Elise holds Minnie and Trinity's hands.

Elise: Girls, love will make you do crazy things and act in all sorts of crazy ways.

Trinity: Mom. Do you still love Holden?

Elise: Yes. I do. I never stopped. Your father has passed and now Holden is coming here, to this town. It just seems like fate to me. But a part of me says not to go. I was hurt SO BAD before. I was MISERABLE for MONTHS. I still don't think I ever fully recovered.

Hearing that hurts Trinity and Minnie, especially because they know it's true.

Elise: Every now and then when he and I would have a really good conversation it would make me cry, because it reminded me of what I had and lost with him. So many times I fantasized about him coming back here, and now that it's actually happening, I'm scared.