Blue Eyes and Other Sources of Drowning

You Were Hell to Me

I wanna scream at you "You were hell to me!" So maybe you'd understand how much you burned and continue to brand me. The scars are ugly and most find them hard to love. Because girls should be 'untouched' with 'smooth skin' unlike my exterior covered in discolored and rough scars. Even I am disgusted by myself sometimes.
Sometimes I find it hard to sleep in the mind you destroyed. My neurons don't fire the same, the messages are an electric shock of pain. Maybe if I say the words of how you treated me in your translation you'd finally understand.
Oh, you church boy. Constantly telling me God wasn't happy with us; with me. Is he happy with you? Well he can forgive you because I won't. I won't until I become the trusting, opened-eyed, sheltered girl I once was. But I will never be her again. You've taken the person I was supposed to become from me, so I will take the peace you would have gotten from my forgiveness from you. I don't have it in me to give you anything else.
I wanna scream "you were hell to me" and maybe your semen and sin covered bible fingers will finally understand how badly you ruined me. Or maybe my metaphors are too much to comprehend.
Who are you to understand if you don't even follow the words you preach.