Blue Eyes and Other Sources of Drowning

Why Do You Exist?

I don't understanding why you exist.
I don't understand why you exist when your virtues don't outweighs your vices.
Is it because you were somehow gifted into having music come naturally to you, having to never practice, and therefore helping the band get higher scores but never learning humbleness and work?
Is it because you had a little brother who could look up to you, but you regretted not having a better relationship you never put effort into?
Is it because I had little self worth and loved anything that looked my way, so you had to rip apart every neuron in my brain, cause excruciating pain, for me to begin to realize that I was not mentally okay?
Couldn't there have been another way?