Blue Eyes and Other Sources of Drowning

I Want You in My Storm

I don't want to break you. I won't let myself shatter you by merely releasing your hand from mine- by letting you slip through my fingers like the handle of a ceramic cup that I've forgotten I'm holding.
I'm so terrified I'll be another girl that fucks you up. I know the last one did so bad-you loved and trusted you for two years and she destroyed your innocence and stole your ability to trust.
Because I like you so much and you like me too. But in our impossible living situations I've also been looking elsewhere- down the path of the same man I've been willing myself to stop longing for. I only know the back of his head since he rarely turns to me.
But he has suddenly taken me in with his eyes and words- I am the sun and he is a sun flower constantly turned to me.
I don't know if I can give into it yet-or if he'll turn back to another direction and hurt me once again. But I think he plans on staying and plans to continue pursuing me.
I don't want to be the one to tell you out of the blue. I don't want you to not see it coming-but how do I let you know there's a possibility of being struck by lightning but I still want you to experience the beauty in my lightening.
I want you. I want him. I want you.
And I never want to hurt you.