So basically life is shit for me right now. I should have finished school two weeks ago (I'm homeschooled btw so I just do everything myself pretty much, I don't have a real teacher or anything teaching me, I just read and study on my own) but surprise I'm behind and haven't finished yet. I'm very stressed because I'm going on vacation soon and my parents want me to be done by then but I don't think I will be. The problem is I'll sit down and do a little bit of school and then cry and get really sad and obviously not want to do school because I feel like an absolute failure and waste of space. Also today my sister (who is also not done yet) basically yelled a "pep talk" to me which of course was just wonderful and totally not discouraging in any way. (I'm being sarcastic if you couldn't tell, I did not like it)
I'm a non confrontational type of person and don't like to fight or be yelled at and yeah it was not fun. Also I have a piano and organ recital in two days and I'm so stressed about it. I think it will go well but I'm playing four songs, four!! And just yeah very stressed. (I'm wearing a suit though which is fun)
I don't know if I've mentioned this, but here's a little bit about me.
I'm a cis girl, and use she/her pronouns.
I'm 17 years old.
I have terrible self esteem and maybe depression also.
Just some fun facts about me I guess.
I've cried 4 times today which is a lot for me. So yeah, not the best day but hopefully tomorrow will be better. I have therapy (for my mental health) in two days which should be nice.
Speaking of that, should I tell my therapist I'm an aro ace? I'd like to at some point but it doesn't really have anything to do with what we talk about so I don't think it's a big deal either way. I would just need to tell her not to tell my parents.
Maybe I'm unnecessarily scared to tell my parents but I don't know how they'll take it. My sister seems to think I'm stupid for being worried about it but idk it's a big thing and everyone else in my family is "normal" (aka straight) at least to my parents. I did make a power point presentation for when I come out though, hopefully that will help.
This chapter is all over the place but here's another thing about me:
I'm slowly becoming more emo and really leaning into and trying to be I guess, idk I listen to 21 Pilots a lot (mostly just their first album and Vessel) and lately I've been trying to wear mostly black clothes so yeah. Anyway yesterday my family went to church (my parents are very christian so church is not an option, it's not too bad I just don't really like the pastor and people annoy me) and I was wearing a black dress with little flowers on it and black kind of high top Vans. I know it doesn't look traditionally good maybe, but I loved it and thought it looked really cool. My mom thought it was really weird but my dad was so nice, he said he's seen other people wear stuff like that and he was so supportive it was great. So that was nice.
When I'm not crying about school I've been watching Criminal Minds with my sister and I love it so much it's so comforting. (I'm near the end of season 2) All the characters are so nice and I just love it.
This chapter has been kind of random but I hope all of you wonderful valid people are doing well!! According to a calendar I saw today is Trans FTM pride day so happy Trans (FTM) pride y'all!!! Love you no Romo!! 💚🤍🖤🤍💜🏳️🌈🏳️🌈💙💗🤍💗💙
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My experiences as an aro ace
Non-Fictionthis is pretty much just going to be me talking about how I realized I was aro ace, things I go through that may be different than other people because I am, and things like that. If you're ace and or aro then yay I hope you like it and can relate...
