My experiences as an aro ace

a few different things

Sorry I haven't written in a little while I've been a bit busy. Let's start off this chapter with an interesting story.

My dad was reading some article on his phone and said (to my mom, I was just sitting in the room quietly) it says this person is demisexual, I wonder what that means. To which my mom replies I don't know, maybe it means a little of both? (???) And my dad said something along the lines of "people just keep perverting the natural order of things and coming up with new words." I sat quietly with the realization that yeah my dad is definitely homophobic.

When he first said demisexual I immediately started listening and the funny thing is if he even knew what it is he would probably be fine with it. Also, the fact that he didn't even try to take 20 seconds to Google it and learn what it is speaks volumes.

Admittedly there are lots of labels that people use which is a great thing, and what I do and what I think is a good thing to do when you see one you don't know is learn about it. Because the new label you see and read about today could be what your friend comes out as tomorrow and even knowing just a little about it will make it so much easier for them. Just in general a response to something new should be a desire to learn about it instead of automatically hating it because it's different.

It made me pretty sad and just lose some respect for my dad. Like before that happened I knew he didn't really like people being gay but he hadn't said something that outright homophobic that I remembered. Also hearing it and knowing he's against the community I'm a part of (the lgbtqpia+ community) was just really disheartening. That made me think maybe I should never come out to my parents but I think I will eventually.

Anyway that was interesting.

Something difficult and annoying about being aro/ace is constantly questioning which kind of attraction you're feeling for someone. Even though I'm at peace and acceptive of the fact that I'm aro/ace when I feel attraction of any kind to someone I immediately think oh it must be sexual and/or romantic I'm not really aro/ace, when in reality after thinking about it I realize it was platonic, aesthetic, or emotional.

I think a big part of the problem is I don't really ever see the different types of attraction and what they mean outside of the aro/ace community. I think most of the world (at least most media) makes it look like even if there is emotional or aesthetic attraction it all eventually becomes or feeds into sexual and romantic attraction, which is so harmful! For one thing, growing up I thought I would never really have a guy friend unless he was my boyfriend, (first of all what the fuck?) and that's a terrible thing for a kid to think! It made me feel like any guy I became close to I would naturally date, and that's so sad. I didn't ever consider the fact that I could have a strong platonic relationship with a guy.

Also, so much priority and praise is showered on sexual/romantic relationships that platonic relationships are seen as a second best and inferior option which is so fucking stupid. Platonic, sexual, and romantic relationships are all wonderful and good for different reasons but none is inherently better or worse than the others.

It's just exhausting to go through a little identify crisis every time I feel attraction because I think maybe I'm faking being aro/ace. Life is hard. I also feel bad for people that don't ever learn to differentiate the different attractions, even though it's difficult I like being able to identify what I'm feeling.

Those are my thoughts on that.

Also I watched some of the Ace Dad Advice videos today and they're so encouraging and nice I just love them. (Go look up Ace Dad Advice on YouTube and Cody Daigle-Orians on Instagram) Maybe I'm being dramatic but after hearing my dad be so homophobic it's nice to hear encouragement from the Ace Dad.

Anyway I love all of you wonderful valid people!!! (Anyone else sad pride month is over? 😭) Have a good day/night!! 💚🤍🖤🤍💜🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈