CrabApple High

Chapter *: Let's Talk Feelings

==>Be The One Comforting Your Crying Crush

We stayed like this for God knows how long. I never knew someone could cry this long. Not that I minded, but still.

Although he does have a good reason to. Hell, even I felt like crying.

Its hard to have a one sided love. To be able to hold the person you love, keep them close and happy, but not have them return your feelings.

It hurts. A lot.

But I think it hurts Karkat more than me. Its like he wants too, but something is stopping him. Its like he can't.

That's got to be sending him through a mental turmoil.

"Karkat?" He finally calmed down enough for me to speak to him.

"Yeah?"

"Are you alright?"

"No."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No. Unless you can tell my fucking mind to come to a decision and stop fucking with me."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You really wanna know?"

"If it helps me understand, then yes I do."

"Ok. Well, its like I want to be with you, I really do. I feel happier with you around, I like being close to you. In my head I'm like 'I want to be with this person forever'. But as soon as either of us do anything, like me kissing you for example, that feeling disappears. Not like completely, more like I don't feel that 'spark', I guess, like I did a few seconds before."

"Wow umm. I don't know how to respond to that. I actually never thought that you of all people would have such a conflict with romance."

"What does that mean? Are you trying to say I'm easy or some shit?"

"No, not at all. I'm just saying that I thought it would be easy for you to be romantic, considering that you're all into that shit. So I figured if I was all cheesy and romantic with you, I might have a chance. But it looks like it might be a bit harder than I thought."

"That's actually quite sweet Strider. I never thought you'd ever try being romantic in any way."

"Thank you...I think? And I can be romantic. If its for the right person that is."

"So...you think I'm the right person?"

"Yes I do."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I'm just so drawn to you. Its like no matter how angry or bitchy you are, I always find you adorable and sweet. You're someone that I feel like I can't live without. I never want to leave your side. I'll follow you to the end of the universe if I have too. I'll wait eternity for you to return my love for you. You mean that much to me." He didn't say anything, he looked up at me.

But it was the way he looked at me that made the difference.

Was that...?

Is he actually showing...?

Love?

I guess so, because the next moment, his lips were pressed against mine again. But, more forcefully, eager, and it actually felt like it had passion in it.

It was different from the last one. Like a complete one-eighty. And I liked it. I wanted more, I didn't want this to end. It was perfect.

But like all great things, it came to an end because breathing is something you need to do. And apparently kissing stops that process.

"Karkat, what was that for?"

"I don't want to explain right now. Just shut the fuck up and kiss me again."

I obliged.

Is it possible to say that this kiss was better than the last? I don't know, but that's what I'm going to say. Because, it was.

~Many minutes later~

"Karkat?" Damn. That came out a lot more breathy than I wanted it to. Guess that's what happens when you have an intense make out session.

"What?"

"Care to explain?"

"About what?"

 

"Why the fucking sky is blue. Seriously? You're kinda giving me mixed signals here and I don't know how I feel about that."

"Ok fine. Stop being a smart ass though. I'll explain."

"Good. Cause, I'm so lost right now."

 

"Ok. So when I kissed you the first time, I did it with an unrealistic purpose. Meaning, I did it with an intention to prove something I already knew was true, but I doubted myself while I did it, making me feel complex about my feelings."

"English please."

"Fuck you. When I first kissed you I made myself believe I didn't like you, which made me get very confused about how I felt."

"Ok. Got it that time. So what was different about the second and third time?"

"I had no doubts. I didn't question myself. I didn't force myself to question you within my mind. I just did it out of how I felt instead of doing it to prove something that was actually nothing."

"You lost me at that last part. But I get it at least. I think. So to summarize, first kiss was controlled by your mind and the second and third by your heart?"

"Why the fuck didn't I think of explaining it that way? But yes actually, that's exactly what it was. My head said no, but my heart said yes."

"Which one are you going to listen to from now on?"

"Definitely my heart. I want many more moments filled with legendary Strider make outs."

I couldn't help but smile. This was more than the perfect moment.

"Good. I can have those make outs happen any time you want."

"I know you can. Now kiss me again before my head takes over again." I smiled again.

Who would have ever thought that being with Karkat ment endless sloppy make outs?

I bet no one did.

But I'm glad I was the one to find it out.

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ok, here's a another crappy chapter XD like this chapters not all that bad really. the next chapter is tho, its like poop on a stick.

wut.

omg dont mind me and my weird phrases please XD

but anyways this chapter kinda focused a lot around the whole "listen to your heart not your head" kinda thing. Did i do good with that cuz i think i did an ok job but whatever XD

hope you enjoyed it!

~V

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