Saxifrage Fire

0018

The amber light of torches created bright ribbons of color on the surface of the river. Alethea leaned over the edge of the bridge staring down into the river, darkened by dusk, as the metal tin that held her Mother's hands trembled in her hands. She felt Alexius watching her with tear-filled eyes. She studied the other families along the bridge and down by the banks pouring the ashen remains of their loved ones' bodies into the rushing waters. She tipped the can, but stopped, imagining she was holding her mother's hand about to let go so she'd fall and be swept away forever. Her lip quivered; she couldn't dam the tears in her throat any longer, so they spilled from her eyes, dripping from her chin to join the rippling surface below.

"It's okay," Alex whispered. "We can keep her a little longer, maybe let her go in the mountains where she belongs."

Thea bit her quivering lip and twisted on the top to keep Mother's ashes from blowing away.

"We should go. They're waiting."

Alex embraced her squeezing the air from her lungs.

At first, she tensed but then relaxed into her sister's embrace grasping a handful of her soft curls to hold her head to her chest. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"Do you think she loved us?" Alex whispered.

She cupped Alex's face and smiled.

"I know she did."

Alex searched her eyes.

"You would know."

Thea blinked, stunned by the prospect that she'd been able to love in her Sera state. But she had- they wouldn't be there together if she hadn't loved Alex. What did that even mean? It all felt like fear at the time. In fact, that's all love seemed to be: fear and rage and regret. Fear of losing Alex. Rage at her Father. Regret that Mother was nothing more than gray dirt trapped inside a tin can within her fist instead of alive, truly alive for the first time, standing there at their side. But, at the same time, it felt Alex carefully cutting her hair, a kiss on the cheek from Ezi, or an honored gift from Hitoshi.

"I suppose you're right."

Alex smirked as if to say 'that's all?'

She scowled; why was she so composed around her sister. 'Old habits die hard' seemed to be the best explanation.

"We should go." She cleared her throat. "The timing is delicate."

She nearly stepped away, but placed a kiss on her sister's forehead, then headed towards the truck where the others were waiting.

The sun fell deep below the hills by the time Kaleo shut the headlights off and parked by the light of the moon in a meadow.

"We'll need to walk from here- Agatha's orders."

Everyone, being Hitoshi, Ezi, and Alex, piled out of the truck closing the doors quietly.

Thea remained still for a moment; she hadn't realized she'd held her Mother's ashes in her lap the whole ride. Pa's voice echoed in her mind, painted with his colorful accent, and she wondered why she hadn't stopped to consider whether their effort to stop the termination would lead to its happening. She searched her mind for missing pieces of evidence but couldn't think of any reason why they shouldn't be trying to save those people. And once the dam was blown, it would wash away the blood and toxin stains on the walls through which her Mother passed every day.

She tucked her Mother's ashes under the seat and climbed out and rounded to the trunk where everyone was gearing up. She heard the crunching of twigs beneath wheels and watched two more trucks pull up. Agatha, Pa, and Ember jumped out of one along with two of Ember's demolition experts- a set of twin boys from the Angelas tribe- who were chattering excitedly in their language. She caught Ember's gaze and they exchanged nods; they'd have to put their heads together within the following hour to blow the dam. If they failed, several hundred people would die.