Drag me Down (Flower Crown Series Two)

Drag Twenty Six

I cannot contain the feeling I've experience right now. My lips are trembling. My knees are shaking. My mind is hazy. Hindi ko kayang masabi sa kanya.

"Avarina" Mommy called me from behind.

Kirk. Kirk is now infront of me. I can hear his rugged breathing. Nagpipigil siya ng emotions. But I know, he wants to know the truth.

"M-Mom? Can we leave us muna?" mahinang sabi ko while staring at Kirk. No one dared to break our eye contact. It hurts. Nakikita ko ang sakit na nasa mata niya.

Mommy nodded and immediately fired herself infront of us. maya-maya ay napansin kong wala na kaming naririnig sa sala. It was a silence that enveloped between us.

Umangat ang paningin ko sa kanya.

His lips were trembling. Any moment ay iiyak na siya.

My eyes widened and gasped.

"W-What-" akmang lalapitan ko siya nang umatras siya. He stopped me using his huge hand infront of me. Pinapahiwatig na ayaw niyang lumapit ako sa kanya.

I clenched my fist.

"Tell me, are you really planning to tell me those words your uncle is saying just now?!" hinanakit na saad niya.

Bumuka-sara 'yung bibig ko. I licked my lips and took a one step forward.

"I am sorry" I said. Napatigil siya.

"But please, huwag muna nating pag-usapan right here. We should-" I stopped.

"Then explain it everything in your room" he demanded. Lumaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. What?! Kakasabi ko lang na huwag muna ngayon!

Okay! I am a stupid! Curse me all you want but I want to avoid it! Ayokong sabihin sa kanya ang lahat ng gusto niyang malaman! Now that he knows my heart condition, I don't want to meddle it.

Kahit boyfriend ko pa siya.

I don't want him to be sad.

Ayokong itali siya sa akin na walang kasiguraduhan na mabubuhay pa ako after the operation. Wala pa sila Mommy na may nakukuhang heart donor.

If there is, nagdadalawang-isip ako.

Gusto ko nang mamatay!

I know. Ang selfish kong tao kasi hindi ko man lang naisip sina Mommy and Daddy. It's just I don't want them to suffer anymore.

Napabalik ako sa ulirat nang hinablot ni Kirk ang wrist ko at hinila ako patungo sa kwarto.

"H-Hey! Kirk!" I called him but he didn't even turned his eyes on me.

Even the maids saw us. I hide my face and nanghihinang sumunod sa paglalakad ni Kirk. And all I can feel right now is the tightness of the hand on my wrist. Naibaba ko ang tingin doon.

Nagsisilabasan na ang ugat sa kanyang hand. Nagpipigil siya ng emosyon. I sighed and looked at him.

Just looking at his back, I know, he is hurting.

Nang makarating kami sa room ko ay siya pa ang nagbukas nun. He slammed the door as well as me on the bed. Nagulat ako sa ginawa niya.

Itinukod ko ang aking arm sa kama because masyadong umalog ang ulo ko sa ginawa niya. Malapit pa akong mapahiga.

He locked the door and pagkatapos nun ay tumingin siya sa akin.

We stared at each other. Silence is now dominating. Wala ni isa sa amin ang nagsalita. Even Kirk who wants to know every details.