Moonlight Sonata

You're a Mommy Now

"So. You're a mommy now." Were the first words I heard as I opened my eyes. I moved my head to the side and saw my mother rocking my baby girl in the corner of the room.

We had moved from the delivery room to a more private smaller room. Matt tried his hardest to get the staff to move the empty bed next to mine but they were having none of that.

Something about 'they need the space,' blah, blah, fucking blah. So Matt was lying in that empty cot, fast asleep and my mother was literally two feet away from me, lounging in a recliner.

"Mom. I-

"Where are you guys gonna stay?"

"Well", I started, "I miss Portland so I would love to go back but Matthew's a city guy. So I guess we'll figure that out when we get back to our place out here."

"I know I can be overbearing baby and I know this isn't about me, but you hurt me. I would have been there for you."

"You're right, my decision had absolutely nothing to do with you but I by no means meant to hurt your feelings. Mom, I was having the greatest time of my life this summer. I met an amazing guy and there were a lot of things to put into consideration. He had lost his sister in a terrible accident Mama. Her plane crashed. Her body was all mangled, she was unrecognizable. They had to pull dental records for her teeth to identify her. That fucking sucks!

I ended up meeting his parents then Samantha and dad moved to Africa. We just found each other at a funky time and I ended up getting pregnant. Everything fell into place then. It sucks that a tragedy brought us together but I am so thankful for it. I love you something fierce and now you've met Posey so it all worked out."

She was looking me directly into my eyes, searching, reading, just catching anything out of the ordinary. I guess she didn't find what she was looking for because she blinked then handed me my baby.

After tucking her into my arms, she kissed my forehead and rubbed my cheek, "You've got a beautiful daughter and I'm just being sensitive. While I don't fully understand your actions, I accept them. Now I'm going to go grab something to eat, rest up Chammy Rain." And with that she left the room.

I held my baby close to me and inhaled her scent. She didn't smell like baby lotion, just newborn baby and I was loving it. It's amazing how much love I feel just being close to her. My little Mari!

After I announced her name to the nurse, Lucy busted into tears and showered me with kisses and hugged me as tight as she could. Matthew and his dad had also hugged each other and wouldn't let go for a while.

Mari's eyes just reminded me of Celia's, they were this light brown and those monolids, ugh!

I named her after the national flower of her daddy's country and an angel. She was bound to be perfect.

Amidst my internal monologue, my queen started to cry.

"¿Qué es esto mija?" I lifted her a bit and she didn't need a diaper change and I guessed she was hungry, so I started breastfeeding her. She latched earlier so I was hoping she would latch again.

"Whoa. Someone's hungry." Matty came around to me and gave Posey a million smooches until I shooed him away.

"Let her eat in peace."

"Jealous already? We haven't even gotten her home yet."

"Shut up."

"Aww, it's okay. I'll give you some love too." He started kissing and sucking on my neck and I let out a soft moan.

"Go away." He lifted his head and kissed me.

"I'm not going to want to hear that when we get home, té curativa."