she's a riddle

chapter eleven.

i hurry back to my dorm, careful to avoid anyone who might talk to me.

i start getting flashbacks of the previous years.

i start walking to potions class, it's my first day back. i look down at my books as i turn a sharp corner. as i'm turning, i accidentally crash into someone's chest. i look up to see draco malfoy towering over me.

"watch where you're going you disgusting pig" he spits. 
i start frantically apologizing, not knowing what else to do. i quickly pick up my books and stand back up.

"don't talk to me.  filthy little mudblood." he replies harshly.

"i'm a halfblood. not a mudblood." i state.

he says nothing, just scoffs as he walks past me, bumping into me harshly causing me to fall yet again.

draco isn't like that anymore. he changed, right? there's no way he is still like that after all these years, surely he has grown out of it. he hasn't been too bad this year. i mean besides all the fighting.

i don't want to have feelings for him. but when i'm with him nothing else seems to matter anymore. all of my troubles and my worries just disappear, i don't care about anything else in those moments, just me and him.

i love the warm feeling i get in my stomach when he talks, the way my heartbreak quickens when he makes eye contact with me, and the laughs i have had with him were real genuine laughs, not a slight giggle at some stupid joke, a real laugh.

i notice when he drinks and his cheeks are painted in the lightest shade of pink, his eyes get a bit lower, and his voice deepens ever so slightly. i notice when he is tense after a weekend at home, he most likely has some sort of family issues. i notice when adrian or enzo make sexual comments about girls, he gets uncomfortable and makes an excuse to leave. i notice how he always wears a specific bracelet during a quidditch match.

i notice every little thing.

maybe i am in love with him?

——————-

after a long nap i wake up and check the time.

2:23am

great. my sleep schedule is fucked now.

well i'm fully awake now, i have to get up.

i get out of my bed and put on a big hoodie with some shorts and walk down to the common room.

the common room is still, no noise or movement besides the crackling fire.

i sit by the fire and i see a book on the floor about 20 feet away from me.

i stand back up and walk to pick it up.

i read the cover in my head before setting it on a desk and sighing.

"can't sleep?" a deep voice asks, causing me to jump.

"woah. don't do that." i turn around to see who it is and i am instantly met with dark eyes, blaise.

"what are you doing up blaise?" i ask.

"couldnt sleep. i cant stop thinking about this girl." he sighs.

"come here." i sit down on the couch and motion for him to sit next to me.

he sits and looks down at me with a soft smile.

"who is she?" i ask.

"luna lovegood. girl of my dreams" he bats his eyelashes in a flirty manner, making me laugh a bit.

"how did you meet?"

"i saw her sleepwalking past curfew a few weeks ago. i woke her up and helped her get back to her dorm. after that she came up to me in the great hall the next day and asked for my number, we've been talking since." he explained.

"interesting. your mum is ok with you dating a ravenclaw?" i ask

"well my mum doesn't know about her yet."

"oh blaise. i hope she doesn't make a big deal of it, i know how she usually is when you even hang out with students outside of slytherin house." i say.

"yeah. but how are you and malfoy?"

"i don't know blaise. i think i love him but i can't forget everything."

"i think you two would be perfect for each other. you may have a past that isn't so pleasant but i've seen the way you look at each other. it's so fucking obvious how in love you two are. everyone has noticed, even those ginger friends of yours." he explained.

blaise and pansy were there for me the entire time draco was bullying me. they eventually became friends with him but they never left my side. when draco would call me absurd names everyday and constantly ruin my day by putting potions in my drinks and embarrass me in front of everyone, i would tell blaise first.

maybe blaise is right, maybe we would be good together. i guess i can try my best to get over the past.

although draco has been a dick our whole lives, he has apologized and he is a much better person now.

"maybe you're right blaise. thank you."

"i'm always right. and anytime, riddle." he wraps me into a hug before letting go and walking back to his dorm.

i decide to go back to my dorm, i could use a nice relaxing bath.

i run the water in the bath until it's almost all the way full.

i grab a bottle of red wine from a box inside my closet and a wine glass.

i set the wine and the glass down on the side of the bathtub.

quickly, i grab a rose from the vase on my desk and pick the petals off of it. in one quick motion, i scatter the rose petals evenly in the water.

i light a few candles and place them all around my bathroom. once i open the cabinet under my sink, i see a few bath bombs. i pick my favorite one and put it in the water.

i undress and slowly sink into the water.

i press the jacuzzi button and lay back in the water, enjoying the relaxed state my body and mind are in.

i pour a glass of wine and slowly sip it.

after sitting in the bath for a while and finishing 3 glasses of wine i step out and get dressed in a t shirt and panties.

i organize my pillows on my bed so i can have one to put my leg over, two behind me, one to hug, and one for my head.

after setting up my bed i lay down and i get instantly swallowed by the coziness of the pillows. i hug the pillow in front of me and slowly fall asleep.