Pretty Girl

Chapter Eight - December 26th 2011

Chapter Eight

Katrina's Pov - 17 Years Old

It was hazy. Vivid colours jumping around as I tried to find my balance.

My heart hurt. My eyes were blurry.

This wasn't working. How was I supposed to nail this routine if I couldn't do one damn spin properly?

I hated that everyone was here. That the whole world was standing here watching me fail. He was watching me fail.

Amanda wanted us to do a little routine for fun so this was why I was stuck in the worst situation with a bunch of snobby parents and other people that were watching us. Inspecting all of our flaws.

I felt disgusting. I wanted to throw up. I just couldn't do this right now. Everything was spinning for some reason.

I didn't want him to see me fail. It was embarassing.

I faintly heard Amanda's voice reprimand me rudely.

"Katrina! Use your back. Keep the jete at the end."

I kept watching him as he took in everything I was doing with concern visible in his expression.

I didn't need his damn pity right now. Not when he always acted like I was a two year old and ignored any possible attraction he may have had towards me.

I always became a fool in front of him.

Yet, I was delusional enough to think that someone like him could ever think more of me but I didn't care. It kept me going and I wasn't exactly going anywhere now was I?

I was so distracted that I didn't realise I was tripping and flying through the air until I fell on the ground and scraped my knee.

Oh no. No.

I got up silently without making a fuss as I realised that everyone's eyes were on me.

I knew they couldn't stop staring because I was a fúcking goddess but fúck off for real.

Wow, I couldn't even be sarcastic enough.

I clenched my teeth knowing I was dead.

"Katrina. A word."

Amanda sternly commanded as I saw her hold back her anger in front of everybody else.

I walked outside behind her as she paused and spun around to look at me with irritation.

"You have potential but you're an absolute mess. I don't know what you're doing but you better fix it. Look at Cassandra and then there's you. She nailed everything until now and you've successfully held up your record for ruining every routine today."

I grinded my teeth as I scoffed with boredom.

I'd heard this before. I could just never be the best at this point.

"Don't give me your damn attitude Katrina. You won't like it if you don't start getting back on track. Keep your end of the deal. Watch your weight, practice, be the perfect damn ballerina and we won't have any problems. You get me?"

I forced a nod as I struggled to hold myself back from showing her how much I really didn't care about anything at the moment. Not after I fell like an amateur.

She glared at me and walked back inside.

I pressed my head to the wall and tried to catch my breath.

I loved ballet but not when it was like this. Not when it was forced and completely ruined by me like this.

Why couldn't I just be better than the rest? I wanted to be the best but I just couldn't. I'd practiced every single day. I literally bled for it but I was always the runner up. The underdog.