Pretty Girl

Chapter Thirty Five - January 26th 2021

Chapter Thirty Five

Alex's Pov - 31 Years Old

I missed her little scowls every single day. Everything about her. The way she'd curse me out and put me in my place.

The way she always brushed her hair from left to right.
How I felt her lips smile against my chest when she buried her face there to hide it from me every time she was happy. How it made me secretly smile too.
The extra chocolate she added into her chocolate chip cookies when she thought I was t looking.
The way she sought me every time something bad happened. How I was her safe place.

Now I'm helpless. I can't do anything.

I missed the way her gorgeous eyes twinkled deviously whenever she thought of a way to cause some kind of mischief. Trouble should've been her middle name.

Every single part of her was a masterpiece. No matter how many people pushed her down she was the most beautiful mess I'd ever seen. She was chaos in the best way and she brought life into me too.

I loved the way we understood each other without needing any kind of pointless banter. Just our fill of each other and the silence that came with it.

I would give anything for her to stand over me and pester me with unnecessary questions or riddles that she always seemed to have ready to fire at me.

Her unwavering spirit to do whatever it took to get what she had set out for.

The one thing I regret is letting her go without kissing her and feeling her kiss me back the way she always did no matter what.

Every single day I watch her like this kills me. I wish it was me instead.

My love for her isn't just a feeling. It's a promise I will never ever break. It's a choice and an unwavering decision.

Why did the difference between good and bad matter when all I wanted was whatever Katrina was. It was everything that was right to me.

I wished that she would wake up so she would know she had actually affected the people around her.

How she had ended up making me smile for the first time in months when I met her at the bridge and every single time that she was herself. All she ever had to do was be herself.

The way she helped Violetta come out of her shell by being relatable, real and a friend that she needed at the time. The pain I saw in Violetta's eyes as she burst into tears when she came here. She didn't say a word as she covered her mouth when she saw me holding her barely alive hand and crying.
She came every day to talk to her.

Ronan had come to think of Katrina as his friend for all the secrets she never revealed about him. For giving him hope that there was one person out there who wasn't out there to use him and get him. For looking out for him even if she never meant that to be her intention. In the end she did. His parents were also very concerned. Katrina was very close to their family but they never said much to me about. They were here constantly helping out though.

I wish she could've seen the look on Daniel Pande's face when he came to her room. How he sat next to her bed and thanked her over and over again for how much she helped him after Carter died. How he talked to her for hours about the fact Carter always spoke highly of her and how she was the reason Carter's parents sat down to talk to Daniel about everything. The evidence she had found related to Carter's death changed everything for them and she didn't even realise it.

Thomas always came every few days and sat with me for hours in silence. I knew he felt guilty about what he'd said about her all those years ago but that was the thing. He'd always looked out for me and I made sure he knew that I appreciated it. I knew there was more that was haunting me but I never had it in me to ask. I could barely look after myself. She was the only one I had time for.