Scared Of Heights | Harry Edward Styles

26: Harrys Friend

Tw mentions of suicide

I'd fallen asleep a few minuets later and when I'd woken up Harry had tidied up the flat a bit and was on his phone. He noticed I'd awoken and put his phone down as I rubbed my eyes.
"How was your nap love?" He asked kindly.
"Nice" I smiled softly - because it truly was.
"That's good, 'm glad to hear that. You feeling a bit better?"
"Not completely but...good enough" I replied, sitting up and crossing my legs as I checked the time on my phone. "Uh...what time d'you need to get back?"
"Im not really doing anything for a while. I can stay for as long as you need me to"

"What as in...stay over?"
"Why not?"
"A-are you sure?"
"I can even get a hotel down the road"
"Okay no. No, don't do that"
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want you spending money just to see if my sorry ass is okay...wait I need a snack"
"Ooh, on your way can you get the strawberries out of the fridge?"

I did as requested and came back with strawberries for Harry and Doritos for me.
"Anyway...I don't want you paying for a hotel for god knows how long. You don't need to stay I'm fine"
"Look, I don't trust you to be here alone after what you told me. I love you too much to let you do anything to yourself" I noticed he had tears in his eyes as he spoke and his voice was cracking. "I-i'm sorry I just...I really care about you"
"Don't cry" I gave him a hug as he sniffled and blinked back tears. "Your stuffs all the way in London though"
"Lets go get it then"

"Wh-now?" I pulled away in surprise. "Harry, you do realise what you're doing right? Like I know we've been friends for a few months but...I just...are you sure you want to do this?"
"I just wanna be here for you, even for a week or two. I just...I worry about you a lot and..."
"And what? Whats wrong?"

I knew he was going to cry for real this time...he couldn't even hold it back. He had tears spilling down his cheeks which he didn't even bother wiping away.
"I-my...my friend...w-when I was younger...he...he died. S-suicide. I-i miss him so much and I just...I cant fucking lose you Zahra. I-i still think about him sometimes and I know it was probably 12 years ago but it hurts. After what you told me I just...I cant let you be alone"

I'd never seen him so...vulnerable. I immediately pulled him into my arms and comforted him to the best of my ability.
"Harry, I'm so sorry"
"I just I-I cant lose anyone else. I've lost too many people"
"Harry, I understand why you feel the way you do but I'm gonna be fine"
"I-i know but I-i just want to be there for you. I'm sorry, I know I'm being a lot you dont need to say yes it was probably a bad idea"
"It's okay. Its okay. You just...care. A lot" I wiped his tears away gently and leaned on his shoulder. "So, when are we leaving?"

He looked at me. "Really?"
"Well...it would be nice to have some company. Come on, I'll get dressed and we can go"