Scared Of Heights | Harry Edward Styles

65: Coping

I didn't go into uni for weeks.

My friends came knocking. They texted and called. Blue and Alex were concerned too but i didn't speak to them.

Uni had called me a lot t in the end I came clean and told them about my health and that I'd been assaulted - i didn't say who but they let me take needed time off and I did my uni work from my flat.

Niall had been an angel though. We called daily and met up from time to time. I knew he was a busy man but he always made time to even text me. I felt guilty for shutting everyone out but its how I always coped. I'd relapsed pretty badly too which of course he found out about and said if needed he would take me to the hospital.

"How are we today then?" He asked. We were sat in a cafe in London, drinking lemonade.
"Awful but...not as bad as yesterday. You?" I replied.
"Pretty good! Another nightmare?"
"Yeah...uh what's been happening with you then?" I responded.
"Nothing much. Golf stuff as usual" He chuckled.
"Fun" I snickered. "I've never played golf...sorry I'm a bit spacey"
"You're fine. And hey, you have that dance thing soon right?"

The winter ball, for God sake.

"Oh. Yeah" Going into the place I got assaulted? Seeing my abuser and friends whom I ghosted? "I...might skip"
"Understandable. But maybe...go. Y'know, just to see your friends"
"I dunno Niall. I just...it...i dunno"
"It's okay. You wanna get out of here?"
"Yes please"

We paid the bill and walked back to my place and just sat outside the front porch.
"I'm glad I rang you that day. You've been such a sweetheart" I told him.
"We're friends. Course I'm here for you. And...you made my best friend the happiest man on earth"

God I missed him.

"Does he know we're friends?"
"Yeah. You rang me once and he saw"
"Oh. What did y' say?"
"I explained you'd been going through a tough time and didn't really know who to turn to. And well...he was a bit jealous. But nevertheless, he thanked me"
"He's such a jealous guy"
"I love him though"
"Me too..."

Fuck.

"It's okay. It'll pass" He assured me.
"I don't want it to" I admitted.
"I know. But you're stubborn" He chuckled.
"I know right..." I put out my cigarette and sighed. "Well...wanna come in?"
"I gotta get back, but I'll see you soon"
"Sounds good. Thanks for coming"
"Of course, happy to help" We shared a warm hug before he got into his car and drove away.

After my nap I woke up to a bunch of texts (again).

lavender: hey i saw you in town earlier with niall but didn't wanna bother - are you ok? i havent seen you in a month im really worried.

hey there delilah: hi i hope ur ok! you know im here for u always <333

fave irishman: Same time next week? 😎

mum: Are you coming home for Easter?

alex; bestie :( whats going on?

blue <3: come home for easter bitch i miss u :(

What was wrong with me? Why did I shut everyone out?

And why was I expecting a text from Harry so badly?