A Court of Shadow and Song

Chapter 4

Gwyn POV

Gwyn stood frozen in front of the couple, hand clutching the little necklace. Elain's necklace, she realized. It had been an anonymous gift. Clotho had told her the mystery person had requested the necklace go to her. Now Gwyn knew the truth. It was from Azriel. Discarded to her because he thought Elain had rejected it.

"I'm sorry," Gwyn stuttered into the frozen faces of Elain and Azriel. "I just... I don't... I mean," Get it together, Gwyn, "I didn't mean to interrupt. I was worried when you left. Your... Shadow seemed upset and I wanted to make sure everything was okay. I shouldn't have come out here." Gwyn was rambling. She shut her lips before more words came out. Her hands went to the clasp on the necklace. Taking the beautiful jewelry off hurt more than she thought it would. The necklace had, admittedly, been a small sign of hope for Gwyn. She always thought, perhaps, she had a secret admirer and for the first time in a long time, she was okay with that. If Gwyn was being honest, she had hoped it was Azriel too.

With shaky hands she placed the necklace into Elain's uncertain hands. "I didn't realize this belonged to you." She said softly, "It's beautiful." Elain's eyes filled with sadness both for herself and for Gwyn. Gwyn could not stand to see the pity in her eyes and turned to leave. "Have a good night." She said with her back to them now.

"Gwyn, please wait." Azriel called out to her. He had stood now, his steps were filled with uncertainty, but he walked to her nonetheless.

Gwyn did not stop, nor did she turn around. She rushed back inside to hug Nesta and Cassian goodbye. They mistook her tears for ones of joy for them, and Gwyn was grateful that no one asked what was wrong. She wasn't even sure at this point herself.

~*~

Gwyn spent the rest of the evening under the covers of her bed. She cried until her eyes dried out, still not sure why she was so upset. No, that's not true, she thought, she was upset that she had been given a pity gift after the original recipient had denied it. She hated knowing people pitied her, and hated even more knowing that people she had trusted and respected pitied her. She fell asleep on a damp pillow, allowing herself to feel a bit of self pity... Just tonight.

She was woken up by a light knock on her door. It couldn't be later than 6AM. Gwyn groaned and padded over to the door. She didn't even bother checking her reflection, she knew her eyes would be swollen and her hair a mess, but she figured it was Nesta and Emerie, or one of the other Priestesses and she didn't care how she looked for them.

Gwyn cursed the cauldron when she opened the door to find Azriel nervously standing in front of her. Any other day she would have laughed to see the larger than life Shadowsinger standing in her little hallway, wings tucked uncomfortably. But today she only glared.

"I don't really want to talk today, Azriel." He winced at her use of his name. She always called him Shadowsinger, he knew the lack of nickname was a result of her anger.

"I hope I can apologize to you, Gwyn." He said quietly, "But I will not force you to listen to me until you are ready." Gwyn almost felt bad listening to the sadness in his voice... almost. "I am not here to talk about last night though. Rhys has requested the Valkyrie's presence this morning. He has invited you to breakfast at his home." Gwyn instantly had a thousand questions she wanted to ask Azriel. But she bit her tongue, nodding to him before closing her door and cleaning herself us.

When she reemerged there was no trace of last night's pity party. She wore her Priestess robes, her hair was pulled back and her hood was up in order to avoid eye contact with Azriel. She walked silent next to him until they reached the balcony. Azriel cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Is it alright if I pick you up?" He asked quietly.