A Court of Shadow and Song

Chapter 16

16

Azriel POV

Azriel held a sleeping Gwyn to his chest, unable to shut off his mind.

She is real. Real. Real.

Mate.

The thought sent excitement and panic to Azriel's chest. The beautiful creature was his. And he was hers. He was hers long before the mating bond snapped into place. If Azriel was being honest, his heart had belonged to Gwyn since the day she walked into the fighting ring and demanded control of her life. He had fallen and he never stopped.

Mate.

Gwyn had not seemed to realize the bond was there. Azriel had no intention of saying anything to her about it anytime soon either. He was broken and damaged and he needed to get his own shit together before burdening her. How would she react? Knowing that her life was bonded to his now. He knew that Gwyn loved him. But there is a difference between loving someone and being their mate. Everything is more... permanent.

Azriel never thought he would get a mate. Now he had the most perfect person in his arms and he was terrified of ruining her.

He wouldn't do it. No matter what it cost him, he would not tarnish the beauty and wonder that was Gwyn. He would rather die.

Azriel squeezed Gwyn tighter to his chest. This is real, he reminded himself. She is here. She is alive. She is my mate.

Gwyn sighed against his chest and Azriel felt his heart swell with love. His hand trailed gently up and down her naked spine, again he worried that he had hurt her. Their first time was not how he had planned it. It was driven by need on both their parts and Azriel knew he wasn't in full control of himself in those moments he was inside her. But the smile on Gwyn's face assured him that she was uninjured. He chose to focus on that as his hand glided up and down her smooth skin.

Azriel's shadows warned him too late of the intruder. Azriel's whole body stiffened as Mor walked into his room with a tray of food. "Oh!" She gasped, seeing Gwyn asleep and naked on Azriel's chests. It was like deja vu and Azriel couldn't help but chuckle. "I'll just..." Mor pointed to the hall and stepped out. Azriel untangled himself from his mate and pulled a pair of pants on before stepping into the hall. The deja vu was a little too familiar now and a lick of panic ran down his spine. Had something happened?

"Sorry." Mor smiled slyly.

"Seems you need to learn to knock, Mor." Azriel sighed, running his hand through his short hair. In truth, privacy had never been between them. For Azriel and Mor, they had always come first for each other. They were best friends, confidants, as close to mates as you could be without the cauldron's blessing. This new privacy between them would be an adjustment for them both.

"I thought you were asleep. I was just leaving some food for when you woke up." The tray she had carried was now sitting on a small table in the hall. "Are you okay, Az?" She put a comforting hand on his shoulder and Azriel mused for a moment at the way her touch felt wrong. Not bad, but not as perfect as Gwyn's. He wondered how he had ever thought Mor and he might be more. He hadn't known what right felt like until he found himself in Gwyn's arms.

"I'm home." Azriel said, "I'll live."

"Az." Mor sighed, "Don't play the brave Shadowsinger with me." Even in an attempt to comfort, Mor's patience only went so far.

"It will be a while before what I saw there doesn't haunt me." Azriel said quietly, "They killed her. Over and over again and there was nothing I could do. I hear her screaming every time I close my eyes." The sympathy in Mor's eyes made Azriel want to scream.