Michael Part III

Sorry

--Mika's POV--

When Fortune and I finally made it back to the house it was silent. The silence didn't help. It didn't make what I had to tell the love of my life any easier.

As I walk into the living room I see him sitting on the edge of the couch. I'm not sure if he heard us come in, but he has his head buried in his hands. His body tenses as I kneel in front of him. He doesn't look up at me.

"Love," I start, my voice already cracking.

Michael slowly shakes his head from side to side. His breathing quickens as he begins to sob.

"Michael," I cry as I try to lift his head to look at me.

He pulls his head back away from me.

"Michael I'm so sorry," I cry.

"Sorry? You're sorry?" Michael asks as he rolls his eyes and wipes the tears away. "You're fucking sorry? I've done nothing but love and support you. I've-I've..."

"Michael, I just kissed him. I'm sor-"

"Just?" Michael asks as he stands up.

I slowly stand up and almost fall. My knees are shaking. My whole bodies shaking and ready to give out.

"I trusted you," he begins again. "I gave you everything. I sit here taking care of OUR children while you go off fucking some over guy? How is-"

"I kissed him! That's it!" I shout.

Before I can open my mouth again, the back of Michael's hand meets my face. My legs finally give out on me, causing me to stumble to the floor. Michael hovers over me. By the look on his face I'm not sure if he regrets what he did or if he wants to do it again.

His body drops down beside me. I can't think of anything to say or anything to do, so I just place myself in his arms and wrap mine around him. I hug his waist tightly, feeling if I let go I'll lose him.

"I-I-" he stutters. "I'm sorry. I-I I'm sorry. I would never. I'm so sorry," he cries.

We both hold onto each other for what feels like hours. Fortune and Ezra occasionally pass through the living room making sure we are alright.

"Michael, I love you. I had a moment of weakness. I'm sorry. I've been stressing about retiring and I just couldn't handle it. I needed an escape. Instead of turning to you I turned to someone I barely know."

"It's okay," Michael responds as he kisses the top of my head.

I let out a sigh and take in a deep breath. His scent. I don't think I could live without it. His scent instantly can calm me, even at a time like this. Even when I've practically fucked up our marriage.

I love him. Love him with every last bit of me. I would give up everything. I'd give up everything to be with me. He's the only person that could make me want to. I love him.

--Ezra's POV--

"Did you see the guy?" I ask Fortune as he tosses the ball to Michael and Mika's new puppy Lilly.

Fortune lets out a sigh before shaking his head 'no.' Lilly lays in the grass without retrieving the ball. I let out a chuckle as I see the frustration in Fortunes eyes when she doesn't bring the ball back.

"Nothing like Mel," he sighs.

"Yea, no dog could ever compare to Mel."

Fortune finally takes defeat and sits down on the grass. He pulls out a few clumps before sighing again. I'm just hoping it's because of Mika not me.

"I love you. You know that right?" Fortune asks and I of course nod. "When I was upset with Mika when I confronted him I was also mad at myself. I thought 'how could he have done this to Michael? Michael deserves better.' But then I thought of what I've done to you.

How I've hurt you. I've hurt you too many times," he says and then pulls me into his lap. "I promise you, I will never ever even think about hurting you again. I can't. I can't see you hurt again. I don't want to ever see you hurt, especially if I'm the cause of it. I love you Ezra. I love you so fucking much."

His grip on me tightens as I sink into him. I hope he means it. I really do. I want to believe him, but I've never been able to trust him. And I feel like I shouldn't, but for now I'll enjoy this. Enjoy this happiness.

--Michael's POV--

Mika and I eventually detach ourselves from each others grip. We both stand up and part. He wandered to the bathroom in the hall while I took the one in our room.

As I close the door I slowly sink down to be floor and let my tears fall. I try my best to silent my cries, but I'm too hurt. He hurt me. He broke me.

I didn't want to believe it could happen, but it did. He cheated on me. Mika cheated on me. I never thought it would happen.

Everything was going perfect. When he announced he was retiring it caught everyone by surprise especially me:

---Flashback (Christmas Dinner)---

Everyone was chatting away and telling stories after dinner. Mika stood up in front of us all and started to cry. I tried standing up to comfort him, but he motioned me to sit down and assured me that he was alright.

"I've..I've put a lot of thought into this. Part of me doesn't know why I didn't do this three years ago," he starts and gives me a smile. "But I'm..I've decided to retire. This is my last album. I want to spend the rest of my life with my family and not away from them. I want to wake up next to the love of my life every morning. I want to experience every memory and milestone with our children. I don't want to miss a second," he finishes.

I stand up again, this time without him stopping me, and pull him into a tight hug as tears fall from my eyes.

"Are you sure?" I whisper to him.

He nods an pulls back enough to look me in the eyes.

"I love you Michael."

---End of Flashback---

And look at where we are now. Separate bathrooms. We decide to be alone when we need each other the most.

If I would've just died years ago he wouldn't be so confused. Confused about his life, his career. He'd be with Andy still. Happy.

I found myself staring at pictures of them together. I found a box buried deep in the closet filled with pictures of them. Mika looked so happy.

I couldn't imagine being with someone for so long and to just throw it away for someone I don't even know. That's what he did. He threw away his future with Andy to be with me.

He threw away all those years they had together. All those memories to be with me. To be with someone who could die at any moment.

I don't think I'll ever understand why. I do love him, but he deserves better. He deserves to have a future with someone that he'll be able to grow old with.

In this moment, this moment right now is when I need him most. Right now I need him I knock on the door. I need him to try and convince me I'm not worthless, because that's exactly how I feel right now is worthless.

I'm trying to convince myself, but I can't. My death seems to be the only solution. The solution to everyone's problems. Everyone would finally be able to move in with their lives. They wouldn't have to hover around while I slowly die.

Which leads me to my decision...