Easing Heimweh (Heim, #1) ✓

19: Promise

I did what felt like the best thing to do at the time, and that was taking Aelius' hand and bringing him to the rooftop.

"This is the best place to breathe," I commented as we reached the topmost floor of the hospital. The air was chilly tonight, and my breath formed a small, faint fog as I spoke. "We should stay here for a while."

Truth be told, I needed to get away, too. I figured I should go back to where I found some clarity back when I'd used to nearly lose my mind from Everen's accident. I never imagined I would be coming back here, but fate had other plans.

It took him a while to speak. "I held a lot of resentment towards my parents, you know."

"Why?"

Aelius shrugged, masking whatever he felt at the moment with a laugh. "They were never present in our lives. I was the one who raised Lucius. Mamma was always sick. She suffered from cancer. As for Papà..." A sigh escaped his lips. "He was Royal Allure's captain, as was every firstborn in the family."

It never crossed my mind how there could be a possibility of Aelius' family being so similar to mine. The Vitalis weren't very known in the world of business, but I should have realized sooner that Aelius worked on that ship for a reason. It wasn't easy to even secure a position there, let alone be the captain.

And how unfortunate I was to understand him fully. I wanted to laugh at whoever deity made our paths cross that night in Cagayan.

"Then Mamma died. The treatments didn't save her." He began crying again, and he didn't bother to wipe the tears this time. "Papà could not handle the heartbreak, Alon. He chose to follow Mamma than live the rest of his days without her."

"And he left you and Lucius." It was barely a whisper, but I guessed he heard it clearly. He only nodded, laughing again, letting the pain show but not able to escape from it.

"Lucius hated our home after they died. He slept outside most nights, and I had to bring him food because he refused to step inside the house," he went on. "So I decided to sell it and move to the U.S. Lucius was only 13 then. Achilles offered to help, so we moved into his apartment."

"But then..." I'd tried my hardest for my voice not to betray me and break. "But then you had to leave."

"I was the eldest. I had no choice. I could only borrow a few weeks to grieve over my parents' deaths. Royal Allure would not sail without a Vitali. I can order my men to control the ship, but I was the only captain," he said.

"Do you regret it?"

"Regret what?"

"Being the captain," I said, my voice small. I wasn't certain if I asked him or myself. "Do you love your job?"

"I do." Aelius broke the tension brewing inside me when he chuckled. "I do, very much. But I wish I didn't have to sacrifice one thing for the other. I wanted to stay by Lucius' side, but I had to keep working for his sake."

It took a while for all of that to sink in. I was conflicted; I emphatized with what Aelius felt, and yet I was chained by envy. He loved his job. He was left with no choice but to be the captain, and he still fit the role perfectly. It was something that could never happen to me. The very circumstance that made him love his title was what had me run away from mine.

"I don't want to regret it, Alon," Aelius added, and I was brought back to the moment at the mention of my name. "I still met you despite it all. I still..."

I wished he didn't say it.

"I still found my home in you. I don't regret that."

I wished he never said it. I wished he never promised anything if he was going to break it anyway.