[Request] After rising through the ranks as a Twitch streamer, you're invited not Austin's famed show Love or Host: Platonic Edition!! Not only that, but the entire DSMP plus Minx is playing!! Find out who will platonically steal your heart in this...
Puffy hummed as she formed her thoughts into words. "Well, if I had to pick a toxic trait, I'd say that I care too much for the other members on the SMP. I'm like their mom, I guess!"
A notoriously deep voice suddenly joined the call, and said: "You know, Puffy, that's a lot of children you've got to take care of."
The female streamer gawked, surprise written all over her face. "Techno?!"
Austin quickly cut in. "Everyone, please welcome TECHNOBLADE!!"
You were beyond excited to finally meet the famed content creator. Technoblade: The Blade, The Blood God, Ultimate PVP Champ, Slayer of Orphans- was on your episode. This was the best day of your life. Nothing could top this- well, maybe a date with your platonic crushes, but that was besides the point! Technoblade was here! You tuned back into the call, focused on catching even a crumb of the man's wisdom.
Puffy stared at her webcam, clearly confused. "Techno? What were you saying about me having kids?"
"Oh, I was just saying you got a lot," he drawled. "You must be busy raising all of them. And while running your own therapy practice? Man, you must not have a lot of free time on your hands."
"What are you trying to say, Techno?"
"I mean, I just don't think you have the time for a relationship right now," he continued. "I'm willing to bet you're hosting."
Eyebrows arched and jaws dropped; no one had expected such an accusation. "I- I am not!" Puffy spluttered. "How can you say that?! You don't have any evidence."
"See? She stuttered! She's lying!" the famed PVP warrior chanted. "She's totally hosting!"
Wilbur brought his mic closer to his lips and whispered, "Chat, if anyone's hosting, it's Niki. No one could ever be that pure and still be human."
"Wil!" Nihachu screeched. "I am not a demon! I am one hundred percent human. You know that!"
Wilbur nearly choked on air. "Wha- What do you mean 'demon'?! I was going to say angel, but after that I'm not so sure, Niki. How can I know, really know, that you're not a demon?" Chaos erupted as each candidate struggled to have their opinions heard over the ruckus. It got to a point where you had to mute the stream, the yelling and shouting giving you a headache.
You chuckled lightly as you addressed your chat: "Hey, everyone! We're having a great time on 'The Austin Show'! Things are going...good." You paused to check in on the stream, only to find Wilbur drawing some sort of diagram while Eret made wildly dramatic gestures. "Anyway," you continued, "it seems like there are two main arguments going on right now: Is Puffy hosting, and is Nihachu a demon?"
You laughed at how ridiculous you sounded. "Firstly, I don't think Nihachu is a demon," you stated. "If anything, she's an angel. Now, if she was just acting all nice, then I guess she would be a demon. Technically, that'd make her a hos-" You couldn't even finish the sentence without gagging. There was absolutely no way Niki would have chosen host...right?
"And Puffy is just as sweet as Nihachu," you moved on, "but...Techno did make a good point...What if Puffy just doesn't have time for me? I'd be super sad, chat."
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Who do you think is more sus: Puffy or Niki??
If we can get 5 votes on this story tonight, I'll reveal Wilbur's diagram Lol XD
As always, you're support for this story means the world to me. Ily all more than Techno hates orphans hahah :)
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[Image Credits] "All pigs are equal" (Added Crown, Cropped Slightly) by Nathan (https://www.flickr.com/photos/gemsling/1462230375)