summer '91 // damon albarn x reader

XI. shimmer

29th of february, 1985.
9:05pm.
front of alex' house.

your pov.

i look at the door. "james". this is it, i suppose. but james is a common fucking last name. i need to somehow know that that is, in fact, his house, i mean, he did say his parents are out of town for honeymoon. romance still exists, even though i ruined mine. i walk around the house for a bit, seeing if anything could hint to this being alex' home. if the house over there saw me, they would call the police. so i had to do it james bond style. sneaky and smooth. although, fuck that. im crying and shaking. its not the perfect time for a stealth mission.

i look at all of the windows, squinting, looking if anyone looked alex-like, if any lights were on. my nose was working a lot too, if i smelled cheese, id know exactly where i was. i sniffed and i looked, and then i finally saw a window, a room in it. dim lights. looked like the telly is on, but nothing else. i see a door, a beer bottle on the window frame, and a tall cunt with brown hair. alex james. alex james is here.

i run back to the front door, knowing damn well he has no doorbell, and he probably wont hear me, i had to knock as loud as i could. i knock. knock. knock. knock!! knock!! KNOCK!! KN- oh there goes the door knob. "hel- y/n!?!? fuck, shit fuck!!!" a shirtless alex opens the door, but quickly shuts it. i shrug, but dont say anything. he opens the door again, this time wearing his mums beautiful pink coat. "alex, graham has pictures of you as a baby. nothing i havent seen." i roll my eyes. he chuckles. "eh- well.. i dunno, i just thought you were my lad, uh, fred. i was just shocked to see you. how did you find my house?" he leans on the doorframe.

the pink coat and the hair hes been letting down recently, makes him look like a divorced mother of five children. makes me chuckle. "i smelled cheese... and was fred supposed to be coming? im sorry, i just wanted to st-" i try to explain myself, he interrupts "no no! its alright. youre welcome to stay the night if you want to. were they mean to you? hurt you? try to do anything to you? he asks me. i look at him in confusion. "they?" i ask. "damon, graham, dave? you know, you were supposed to be with them, for all i know." he replies. "ohhhh. i get it now. little alex is worried. kind of cute, to be fair." i tease him and he just rolls his eyes and signals for me to come in.

"so what does bring you here?" he asks, turning the lights on. seeing me wearing red cheeks and a red nose, swollen eyes, and tears. im so glad it was dark outside. but now i have to explain shit to him. "shit, i knew!! i knew they bloody did something! fucking twats, i cant believe this shit!! ill call them and give them my two cents on it, alright?! they wont fucking do this to you again!! i fucking knew it!! they cant stand a second next to a girl!!!-" he yells out, pure anger pouring out of every syllable, vocal, word, letter. hes walking to the phone. "alex no!!" i run over to him and stop him. "they did nothing. i fucked up the night, okay? calm down please. we can sit down and i can explain." i say. he sighs, and nods. we head over to his couch, which wasnt that far.

"me and gra, we- we were just watching tv, dave and dames just fighting, the usual... but... i cant stop thinking about damon, i act like hes been off of my mind for so long but i still wanted us to be together. we both fucked up before, and i will admit that i fucked up way more than he did." i cup my face in my hands, alex comfortingly hugging me and tapping on my shoulder every now and then. every sob felt like a sharp knife, breathing was difficult. "you left cause of that...?" he asks me, a little confused.

"no, not that. i- i went to the bathroom cause i really wanted to cry, i didnt want to ruin the night so i just sat there, for fifteen bloody minutes, sure didnt feel like it. i lost track of time and- damon came in, cause i didnt lock the door, and- we just... started kissing. and... it felt right at first, but... i cant... i dont know what i want, alex. i just need some comfort now, and i know i can trust you." i sigh, looking over at him, light smile on his face. "glad you trust me... and hey, its alright really... when youre young and reckless you want love but at the same time think love is overrated and dumb. you know smoking and drinking is bad, but still do it. mistakes always happen, y/n. i bet damon feels like you right now, i feel like damon is having this same exact conversation with dave and graham. we will never know what we truly want, not until were older, i guess." he replies "but, hey, im no therapist, im just rambling about shite to try and help you out..." he jokingly adds, and i smile, snicker, chuckle, laugh. he is medicine. alex is the man. alex deserves a huge hug. i deliver.

"cheers, y/n." he thanks me for the hug as we get back to our normal sitting positions. awkward silence. ah yes. "so, uh... hows things with kathy? are you two a couple now?" is all i could really ask. i was curious and thats really the first thing that came to mind. "oh- kathy... yeah... she said she hated me, spat on me, and called me a wanker a good five hundred times." he rolls his eyes, snickering to himself. "because of what? i mean, she wouldnt do that for no purpose." i ask once again. "it was windy, i was having a fag, and i guess the ashes got to her favourite skirt. made a huge deal out of it. said my cock is small. the basics." he pulls out a cigarette box from his pocket and offers me one. i laugh, just imagining the scenario in my head. i take a fag and light it up with a lighter that was already on the table. alex stood up to look for an ashtray.

"alex, have any of the good stuff?" i ask him while he opens every cupboard in the kitchen. "fucks sake! you can find the stupidest shit everywhere in this house but not a goddamn ashtray!!- good stuff? oh, yeah. do have alcohol, but freds bringing some better stuff." alex replies, smirking. my eyes slightly widen from my confusion. "yeah? will he be over soon then? will he bring the expensive beers and stuff?" i pick at my strangely slightly dirty nails, trying to clean them desperately. fat fucking fingers cant reach. i notice alex said something, but i didnt hear. i ask him if he could repeat what he said.

"hes not bringing THAT good stuff, hes bringing the other good stuff- weed. good grass." alex smirks in excitement, still looking around for an ashtray, ive been putting my cigs ashes on some old newspaper that was under the telly. wait. WAIT. WAAAIT. drugs?!? DRUGS?!? FUCK?!? IVE NEVER DONE ANY?! i start to panic. it was pretty visible. "y/n, i really wont pressure you into trying it or anything. you dont have to. not like innocent little dames hasnt done any before... but look, if you feel uncomfortable at any given moment, you can go upstairs into my room- YES!! FOUND THE SODDING ASHTRAY!!" he celebrates a little before coming over to me, with two beers. i have already finished my cigar, the butt and the ashes all on that sad newspaper. surprisingly i didnt burn his house down.

"bad timing?" we laugh. me and alex both hear a sudden knocking noise, we both flinch, cause it was so quiet, not even the telly was on. "fuck, should i leave?" i ask, i didnt want to get involved with ANY drugs. fuck that. "please stay. i dont want you going back to them... please!" alex gives me puppy dog eyes. i roll my eyes and nod, as alex opens the door for... "fred!! alright mate?" alex greets him, and he greets back, having some small chat i wasnt really paying attention to. i glance over at fred. hes really fit. but, i literally snogged my ex. lets not think about anything or anyone now. "is that your girl?" he points at me, eyes widen and head shakes 'no' multiple times. never. in. my. life. "shes just a friend. had a bad night, so she came over." alex says, i mean, good way to sum everything up.

"bad night? oh, baby, were gonna fix this night for you!" he smiles as he comes closer to greet me. i laugh. hes fit and funny. shit. "y/n." i shake his hand, "fred! good to meet you!" he shakes back. i stare into his green eyes, very different shade and colour, theyre not anything like damons. theres shimmer in them. i scan his face for another second. "you kind of look like paul mccartney." is all i could really say. instant regret. i didnt think. alex laughs from the kitchen, grabbing fred a beer. "alex, is she already high?" fred asks. we both laugh."thats y/n for you! bloody drug lord i tell you!" alex replies jokingly.

"-also, alex, why the fuck are you wearing a pink furry coat?!" fred laughs.