summer '91 // damon albarn x reader

XIV. stay

10th of march, 1985.
5:45pm
your house.

your pov.

"im very glad you got a good mark in german... who knows, we might plan to go to germany someday soon." mum makes a joke as i roll my eyes. "germany looks just like a copy of england... but it would be nice to travel, get that on my bucket list." i smile. "are you going out today?... i mean, i havent seen you anywhere with damon or graham anywhere... is everything alright?" she asks me, and my smile drops. "yeah yeah! im just- just uh focusing on my grades you know!" i nervously say. "yeah, no. theres a problem... tell me." she looks me dead in the eyes and i sigh, i just really didnt want to upset her, so i will just lie. "...alright, we- we got in a fight- nothing too major- nothing too small either. its just a friendship fight thing, you know?" i look left and right, hoping she cant cut through my bullshit.

"oh... i know you two broke up, but i just dont want you to end up as enemies... how long has this fight been going on?" she asks and i gulp, not knowing how to make things up exactly on the spot. "not very long mum, round a week i suppose. i just kind of was having a bad day and i didnt want to hang out with him, and it all just escalated there. no one is really at fault or anything..." i answer, hoping its believable enough. "a week without him is too much! doesnt matter whos at fault, but, whatever happened, you should go talk to him. bet he misses you like crazy, trust me, i know damon better than you at times." mum says. shes... shes right. no matter how angry we are at eachother i really should go and apologise.

"youre right... i really should." i slightly smile at her, she nods. "hurry hurry!" she smiled, and by the smile i knew i was doing the right thing. mum always knows the answers to everything, but i hope she doesnt find out about the actual story. i get up, and go over to my bedroom, comb my hair, ruffle it up slightly, throw a knitted sweater on, some random jeans, beatle boots and a beaded necklace. typical y/n outfit, nothing much really. i wave at mum and dad before heading out quickly. i had no time to waste. i was mostly speed-walking like a bozo on the street, thinking of what to say; how to apologise. im sorry i hung out with fred? no... im sorry i kissed you? no... sorry i took drugs? no... i cant seem to figure this out. i was always bad at saying sorry, i assume.

before my thoughts could even get to the finish line, i was already right next to his house. what if his mum opens? his dad? christ... deep breaths, deep breaths. after wasting a minute of my time just breathing in front of his door, i ring the bell. then in a millisecond, its open. fuck. i wasnt expecting it to go that fast, i flinch in anxiety. i look up, damon. he looks disappointed. he sighs and asks "why are you here?". i look down once again, preparing my answer the best i can. "damon, im- im really sorry for hanging out with drugs and fighting fred and doing yo- wait fuck no- no fuck- i fucked it up- give m- give me a moment-..." i put my hand up as i pause and close my eyes to remember what i have to say. embarrassing, i can hear damon slightly laughing to himself. makes me nervously smile too. "take your time..." he chuckles. despite all of this, hes still so sweet to me.

i take a deep breath and open my eyes again, smile on my face, its like im in fifth grade and im doing a play. "wooh! okay- okay i think i got it! -" i excitedly say. "good, good, go on." damon leans on the doorframe, still smiling. "im- im sorry for hanging out with fred, doing drugs and fighting with you. i really dont know what has gotten into me that night... as you can see... no good at apologises... but im serious, im so sorry. so fucking sorry damon. i was a disgusting pig that night, and i dont want to lose you completely just because of some random paul mccartney look-alike. i want you to stay in my life. and i really mean it. im so fucking sorry." i look down as i hold back tears, everything wanted to get out of me. my heart wanted to run away, my brain shut itself off, only my ears had to hear if damon accepts the apology or not.

"-erm, i- im also sorry." he says, i look up, eyebrows raised and some confusion in my eyes, but, like, wasnt i the one who started the fight? "-i shouldnt be deciding who you hang out with - or what you do, really... it was dumb of me, and i just hope you know that i just want to protect you sometimes... even though i know you can do it yourself... but i cant stand to see you hurt, and i hurt you... and we both fucked up didnt we? and youre right, im no saint. i did weed too, couple of times actually... and look, if you think fred is a good guy, you can hang out with him, cause its totally up to you what you want to do, but im just telling you; hes no good. but, again, whatever, im still here for you. and thats what matters most to me; you and i." damon smiles and i smile back. huh, this was easy.

i hug him and he hugs back, we hold onto eachother for a minute, until we both realise we have been standing in front of the door for a solid ten minutes, so he invites me inside. i guess damon threw himself in a can of giggles, the blond couldnt stop giggling and laughing to himself. i give him a quizzing look, he stops smiling; "oh, its nothing." he says as he starts breaking into laughter again. we sit on the couch and i stare directly at him. "why. are. you. laughing. you. cunt. huh?? why??" i couldnt help but laugh too, even though i had no idea why damon was laughing. "two reasons." he replies.

"whats the first reason then?" i ask, he just giggles cutely. "im-im glad you showed up and said sorry, and just... the fact that you want me to stay in your life means the world to me, cause, lets face it; you cant get rid of me and you never will!" he jokes, and i just nod and laugh. its sweet of him, really. to be so happy about something like this, just shows how much damon does care about me. "and the second reason?" i look at him once again, a smirk not escaping my face. he starts manically laughing, snorting, giggling, chuckling, snickering, everything. he covers his face with a pillow and starts laughing even harder. "for-forget-" he stops to laugh, "forget the s- se- uh-" he laughs again, into the pillow, "forget the second reason!!" he finally ends the sentence. i think i see tears forming in his eyes, he stops to breathe or huff every now and then, then the laughter cuts off his normal breathing. probably might get an asthma attack. he just cant stop laughing, and i find that so bloody funny.

"now i wanna know!!" i barely hold back my laughter. "fucking tease." i add, rolling my eyes. he is still laughing into the pillow, i hit his arm. "cmon, dames!!" i hit it once again. "you-you fucked up your apology and you made it seem like youre sorry for shagging me!!" he could barely finish, as he burst into laughter once again, i laugh, but i dont recall that at all. "did not!!" i yell at him, "oh you so did!" he yells back. "you said, and i quote; "sorry for hanging out with drugs and fighting fred and doing you", and dont try to correct me on that cause i know what i heard!!" he holds his stomach, its probably in lots of pain from all that laughing, i roll my eyes and just laugh along, it was slightly embarrassing though.

the laughter slowly dies down and we just stay silent for a moment. "i missed this. i miss when it was only you and me, and when we just laughed our arses off at everything." damon admits something that i also wanted to say. he read my mind. "remember when we were in bed and we just started crying laughing cause your ceiling bulb looked strange... it was so pointless, but, so funny." i mention, damon snickers and ruffles his hair. "...or, when i was pouring you cola into a cup, and it sounded like someone taking a piss, so we started laughing, and then because i was laughing i spilled it everywhere, and that made us laugh even more, but we got into so much fucking trouble, didnt we? two teens spilling drinks and screaming bloody murder at 4 am. your mum surely didnt like that all too much." damon says, and all of these memories keep coming back, and what keeps coming back, is that one thought. that one thought that i always had in my mind.

"im still in love with you, damon." i say without thinking, quickly covering my mouth and closing my eyes and just sinking into deep regret. im bloody stupid. dumbass, dumbass, dumbass!! i slightly open my eyes to look at damon, and he- he is, just, still smiling. i guess it was obvious all this time. maybe..."i was just waiting to hear that, cause i still feel the same too." damon says, making me blush like an idiot.

idiot in red.