summer '91 // damon albarn x reader

XII. grass

1st of march, 1985.
12:57am.
alex' house.

your pov.

"jesus, fuck- hard shit-!" i say as i laugh my arse off. fred talks about his work experience at a mall during christmas. we have been talking about stupid and funny shit for hours, we have been drinking for hours too. "-and than that old bitch said she would call the police on me if i didnt give her a damn discount on the ornaments! discount my ass! the only thing you can get a discount on is a casket! youll die in a month anyway! old lady! she said 'oh i dont have time for this!' and left! of course you dont have much time left, one leg is already in the grave!" we laugh, as fred continues his story.

i look over at alex, rolling up another joint, jesus have they been smoking. smoooking. i just watched and watched. rolled my eyes at it. this could seriously lead to problems, i thought. "aye alex, my guy, roll one up for me, would you?" fred asks. alex nods and smiles, i just sigh to myself. not my problem though. "and, uh- roll one up for the princess! shes been silent this whole time!" fred gestures to me, and i just deny with every part of my body. "fred, mate... i dont want to force y/n into smoking this. she strictly said she wont do it, man. so lets not, yeah?" alex says, handing a joint to fred. he sighs dramatically.

"oh love come on! i thought you were cooler, please. just one blow. nothing more. it wont hurt you, you already smoke those nasty malboros." fred says, trying to hand me his lit-up joint. i nod 'no' multiple times. alex looks worried. "let it go, man. let it go." alex tries pushing freds hands away, fred still trying to hand it to me. alex pushes, fred pushes back, alex pushes, fred pushes back... on and on. "STOP IT YOU TWATS!!!! fine... ill fucking do it." if that will end this childish shit, then i will gladly try weed, even though i was scared shitless.

"smart choice, princess." fred smiles, alex is mouthing "im sorry.", i just shrug it off and take a fair drag of the joint, followed by some coughs, some eye squinting, some head shaking, but a smile. it was nice. it wasnt bad, hell, it tasted better than cigarettes. "hm, quite nice." i say, shrugging it off. i didnt want more though. "alex roll a joint up for her, hm?" he suggests, alex nodding. "no, cheers mate. no, fred, i really dont want more... seriously. cheers though." i sigh, knowing he wont let me say no. "love, come on. damon has tried my shit, so has dave, and so can you. and hey- you say dames and you have got issues- one single joint can bring you to seven different planets. just for me?" fred wont stop, he just wont. "dont bring dames into this, i wont smoke this cause of him. nor will i smoke for you." i say in a serious tone. freds smile drops. alex stops making the joint. all eyes were on me.

"stubborn... i like that. youre really hot, you know, love?" fred smiles at me, no matter how angry i get, a compliment always gets me. i smile back. he comes closer and starts kissing my cheek. i dont know what i was feeling. alex just continues rolling the joint, like he knew this was going to happen. we start snogging eventually, i take the joint. take two, three, four... stop caring. damon has never given me this much attention. this much love. i felt like i was on cloud nine. everything fred and alex said was funny, everything felt great. life wasnt as scary, it felt easy. like everything was going amazing, like i didnt just ruin everything i had with damon. im in love again. i fell in love in one night. fred is just amazing.

but maybe its the weed. maybe its that he forced me to take it, maybe its that he kissed me without me wanting to kiss him. maybe im just high. maybe i just miss affection. maybe ill wake up and forget this, or even regret it. maybe i will never see fred again. but, i live while i can, and ill live my life the fullest. alex was right. i dont know what i want. but how will i know what i want if im not even experimenting with my chances?