dear self, i am sorry

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dear self,

i am sorry

i owe you an apology
for all that i've put you through

for taking criticism
from people i would have never
turnt to for advice

for always putting you second
and justifying every excuse others had

for all the sleepless nights
and puffy eyes

for feeling so intensely
— feeling on a higher frequency
than most people

for picking up vibes from
every room
i enter
every person
i meet

for ignoring the
harsh reality
and finding refuge
in the mirages i fashion
in my mind

escapism, they call it

because having each of those
emotions, thoughts
transverse through me
suffocates me

and escape
is my only rest

i am truly
sorry

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