Regret

18

At the end of the tape I was speechless. No words were coming out of my mouth. I was emotionless. Information were gettin into my mind. I couldn't feel anything.

" Alyssa....please say something...." Clay begged me. I were silent a few minutes until I spoke up.

" What. The. Actual. Fuck....." was the only words leaving my mouth. Clay gave me a weak smile before reaching towards me and hugged me. I started crying. For the first time I felt relieved. I knew some of the reasons Hannah committed.

" How could they.....HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO HER! Jessica, Justin, Alex, Courtney, Mr Porter and even Bryce...." I sobbed. I didn't think that it would happen like this. That the people I thought I knew were some reasons my best friend committed suicide.

The next day was a school day. I came into the hallway and saw both Justin, Jeff and Jessica standing and had a conversation until the spotted me. " Hey Alyssa! I heard what happened yesterday, are you okay? " Jessica said.

" Don't. You. Even. Dare ask me how I am doing! " I snapped. Jessica, Justin and Jeff looked confused at me. " How could you do that to her!! " I yelled. All of the students in the hallway turned around and had all their attention at me.

" Alyssa you are insane! What are you talking about! Everything is fine! " Justing said annoyed and a little bit scared.

" Yeah! That's what everyone keeps saying. 'I'm sorry for your loss' or ' everything is fine or gonna be fine'. But guess what?! Everyone keeps acting like everything is fine when everything is about to crash down and become dust! I have been asking myself the past few weeks what happned to Hannah. And now I fineally know why. So don't act like you feel my pain, Jessica' " I screamed. I turned from her  and looked over the view at the hallway. All the students were looking at me in shook and were confused over my screaming.

I spotted Monty. He looked at me and before I knew it I was about to break down. I turned to run to the girls bathroom with Monty behind me hunting after me.

" Alyssa! " he kept screaming. As I got inside the door I collapsed to the floor and began sobbing.

Monty heard my cries through the door. It took one minute before he came in and held me in his arms. He kept trying calming me down. " It's okay. " he kept saying.

I couldn't thinks straight anymore. Every time I broke down Monty was always there for me. I didn't even get it. Why was he caring about me. " I don't deserve you...I don't get why you are being nice to me at all...." I said in a whisper to Monty. He gave me a weak smile.

" Alyssa...You were there for me when I needed you the most. And actually...I just hate seeing you so upset..." he whispered back to me.

We broke the hug and looked into each other's eyes. You could really feel the connection between us. I didn't know what we were. Friends? Lovers? Broken souls? Who god knows. One thing for sure for me was that I was beginning to fall for him.

" I love you..." I said. Monty looked shocked. I quickly felt embarrassed. " Just forget what I said. ".
Monty chuckled before leaning in a kissed me. " I love you to, Ally " he said.

Ahhh sorry for the short chapter.
I also have news! This is gonna be a book series so this book might end on maybe chapter 25 or longer. And after that a sequel is gonna be in process.
Sorry for the long wait aswell! Love you all! <3
///L.J.L