TREPIDATION // h.s

CHAPTER 21 //

Delilah Allen

I just finished my long, relaxing bath, and I'm now rubbing my favorite coconut lotion all over my body. I walk over to the mirror to apply my face moisturizer. While I'm moving my hands over my face, I examine my skin, when my eyes move down to my neck, I almost jump back in fright. There are prominent dark red and purple bruises scattering my neck and moving all the way down to my collar bones. I gently rub over the skin, luckily it doesn't hurt, but it looks very bad, I'm gonna have to cover that up tomorrow.

I pretty much just stayed cooped up inside my room for the rest of the day. Better that than to get into another fight with Harry. I'm more confused than ever now, and I honestly wouldn't even know what to say to him.

I wish I knew what his intentions with me are. He does all these amazing things with me and he takes me on boat trips and he falls asleep with me and he makes me feel on top of the world, but one wrong move and we're back to square one. He hates me and he yells at me and slams doors. Is this all just a game to him? Am I just a game to him?

Trust me to overthink this. He is just a college guy trying to get with me. Maybe after what happened earlier, he will give up, and just go find another girl to hook up with. He doesn't seem like a guy who would chase a girl who rejected him. I don't like the thought of it though and I don't know why.

Him being with another girl doesn't bother me, right? I mean why would it. We just kissed a few times, and sure it was great, more than great really but that's beyond the point, but I don't even like him, he's a dick. 

Sure, he looks like a greek god with perfect hair and the most beautiful features, and his body looks like it's been carved out by sculptures, and the way he smells does all these crazy things to me, and when he touches me it sends a literal shock through my body, but no way in hell will I allow myself to catch feelings for him.

I just need some tea to help me calm down before bed, I need a good night of sleep after today. I'm just praying that he isn't downstairs.

Unfortunately, luck isn't on my side tonight, and as I get off the stairs, I see him sitting at the bar. I just pretend I don't see him at first,  and I walk to the kitchen. "Peach." I hear him say. I just ignore him and I continue walking to the kettle, switching it on. "C'mere." 

"What?" I turn around, mentally preparing myself to deal with him.

He is holding a bottle of whiskey in his hand, his undereye bags are dark and thick like he hasn't slept. "I'm sorry for calling you a virgin." There is a hint of humor in his voice.

I try my best to contain my laughter, but I can't. I blurt out a laugh and then he just looks at me for a few seconds before he also starts laughing. "It's okay."

"Come have a drink with me?" He pleads, making puppy eyes at me.

"Actually I should really-"

"Pleaseeee." He interrupts me, sticking his lower lip out.

"Harry..." I sigh.

"Pleeeeaaaassssseeee?"

I roll my eyes at him, and then I walk to the bar, pulling out a barstool and sitting down next to him.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" He looks at me, grinning like a devil. I smile at him and grab the bottle of whiskey from his hand. Before I even attempt to take a sip from the bottle, I get tugged towards him, and when I look down I see his hand on the leg of my chair.

"Much better." He beams.

Before I take a big sip straight from the bottle, I ask. "What is this?"

"Glenury Royal." He watches me drink.

"Hmm, sounds expensive..." He keeps staring at me, but not into my eyes anymore. "...What?"

"I like your neck." He says and suddenly it hits me. I quickly move my hands up to my neck, trying to hide it.

"Shit, I meant to cover it up."

"Don't, it shows guys that they need to fuck off." He grabs the bottle from me and swings it back. "So are you one?" He asks and I tilt my head with a confused expression on my face.

" A virgin." He whispers slowly, instantly making my face turn red with embarrassment.

"I'm not talking to you about this," I cover my face with my hands, laughing into my palms.

"Why not, we're friends right?" He shoves my shoulder, making me almost fall of the chair.

"Well, I did have a boyfriend in high school." I insinuate.

"Was he good?" He leans in closer to me.

"I don't know, I guess." I hesitate, shaking my head. I refuse to make eye contact with him right now.

"What do you mean, you don't know."

"Well... I guess it just didn't always feel that good, I don't know... It just wasn't as amazing as I thought it would be." My head drops, I've never felt more embarrassed. I can't believe I'm telling him this. I grab the bottle and take another big gulp.

"Did he even make you finish?"

Now I really want to stick my head underground. "Fucking hell, Harry."

"Holy shit, have you ever even had an orgasm?" His face lights up, I don't know if it's because he really can't believe it or because he's excited for some reason.

I just shake my head, finding no words to respond to him.

He snakes his hands around me, lifting me up by my ass, and moving me towards him. He places me on his lap, so I am straddling him.

He moves his hand up to the side of my face, brushing the hair away and tucking it behind my ear. I start breathing loudly, and my heart is racing in my chest. He brushes his face against mine, and I can feel his slight stubble on my skin. He whispers in my ear. "You can't even begin to imagine the things I would do to you, I could have your whole body shaking within minutes."

For a moment I think my heart stopped beating. I can't even process what he just said. I swallow and then I feel his face move. He starts placing soft kisses on my cheek, slowly. He really takes his time with each kiss, like he is being careful. The kisses move all the way to my mouth but he stops and then he just hovers there. "Can I kiss you?" He asks after a few seconds, and I nod my head. I don't know why he even has to ask, we've kissed lots of times before.

He gives me a long kiss, our lips just staying still, melting together, not moving or parting. When he pulls away our lips make a smacking sound. I take a deep breath and then I lift my head.

When I look into his emerald eyes, I see something new and unfamiliar. I can't quite figure out what it is, but it's soft and comforting, and inviting. "We should probably head to bed." He says giving me a croocked smile. "Probably," I say and I slowly climb off his lap.

"Can I take you somewhere tomorrow?"

"I hope you don't plan on getting us stranded somewhere again?" I giggle.

He shakes his head ."Wear a bathing suit ."

"Alright, goodnight Harry."

"Goodnight." He says and I leave the room. Walking back to the stairs and up, straight to bed. I desperately need to get into my bed, but maybe a cold shower would be better after what just happened.

//