TREPIDATION // h.s

CHAPTER 35 //

Delilah Allen

I shoot myself down on the floor next to him and I grab the pills. I can't let this happen again.

I quickly scan my eyes across the label to read the name, Celexa. The same pills I found in the bathroom after he overdosed. The antidepressants. I breathe a sigh of relief.

I look at him with worry, but his face stays blank. "Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the moment." He keeps staring out in front of him.

"Harry, what's wrong?" My voice is filled with genuine worry. He was still fine moments ago and now he's sitting on the floor looking like he's about to cry, and I've never seen him cry.

He shakes his head and then rests it on the cupboard behind us. "After the high of the drugs there always comes a low, and I guess it's just worse for me than for normal people."

He's not the only one on the verge of tears now. "You are normal." I try to comfort, but it doesn't really help.

"I'm not normal, I'm clinically ill." This is true, but he's making it sound worse than it is. He's making it sound like he needs to be in a mental asylum. When in reality things would be so much better if he just took his medication.

"I'm not trying to sound insensitive or disrespectful, why don't you just do something about it. You could start taking the pills regularly again, that would help."

"I can't take the pills again." He looks down at the floor like he is trying to hold himself back.

"Why not?" I push.

"Stop." He warns, clenching his fist at his side. But unfortunately for him, he doesn't scare me, I know he wouldn't hurt me.

"What could be so bad about them?" I don't understand why he is so adamant about not taking the medication.

"The pills fuck me up, okay!" His breathing gets quicker, meaning he's working himself up again.

"Harry you need to..."

"Just shut up!" He yells, interrupting me mid-sentence.

I swallow my tongue, feeling a bit guilty for pushing him again. I just want to help.

"I think you should go." He says, his voice calmer now.

I look back at him in confusion, baffled that he is chasing me away like a bad dog.

"Now." He adds, making me angry this time. I get that I pushed him too far and he's in a bad state right now, but it doesn't change the fact that once again he's not handling this like an adult.

Instead of talking to me about what's going on, he's pushing me away, again. This just leaves me wondering if it will ever be any different, or if every time we fight this is what will happen.

I nod to myself and then I get up, still only in my towel. I look back at him once more before I leave through the front door.

Luckily there was no one else around, and I didn't bump into someone on my way back to the penthouse. All the lights are off when I get home, so I guess my dad is already asleep. I run up the stairs and to my room, throwing on some pj's and getting into my bed.

After about an hour of tossing and turning, I realize I'm not falling asleep anytime soon. I mean how could I? After what just happened.

No one has ever done that for me, plus I've never liked someone like I like Harry. So it was basically the best thing that I've ever done.

And just I really like him.

But not even I can understand it. There's no logical reason why I would like him, he's egotistic, hot-headed, rude, careless, stupid a massive dick... But still, I can't stay away from him, and he never seems to leave my mind. Maybe it's because even though he has so many flaws, the good in him is still more, he just prefers not to show it to most people.