TREPIDATION // h.s

CHAPTER 36 //

Delilah Allen

"Yeah, I'll see you... around." The words have barely left his mouth before he shut the door in my face. 

What the fuck. 

I have no idea what just happened. He's never acted like this towards me. He's never really even been mad at me, but now he couldn't wait to get me out of his apartment, and honestly, I don't buy his story. At this point, I know him a little better than that. 

Oh shit, it really must have been me last night. I must have done something to turn him off so much that he threw me out and now he doesn't even want to see me anymore.

Maybe he has another girl in there, maybe I didn't even turn him on in the first place so he had to get another girl to come over last night. 

Or maybe I'm just overthinking all of this.

I know what I should do. I'm going to wait out here for a couple of minutes and wait for him to come out. If he does, great. And if he doesn't then I'll march in there and confront him. 

So I waited a few minutes and nothing. My whole being was begging for him to walk through the door, but 20 minutes later, my heart feels heavier than ever. There are so many scary possibilities if I open this door. 

The thought of losing him is terrifying me. 

If you told me a couple of weeks ago I would be standing here worrying about him hurting me, I would have laughed in your face. Obviously, that's not the case anymore.

My feelings for him are at such a delicate place. 

If something goes bad, I would be absolutely crushed, but if it goes right, and as scary as it may sound, I can't help but wonder if this is more than just a crush anymore.

I just have to face my demons, don't I? I need to walk in there now, expecting the worst, but absolutely coveting for the best.

When I push open the door I feel internal relief to see him sitting alone on the couch, still in his towel. The worst possible option is crossed off.

But still, he's sitting on the couch and not rushing to the hospital as he told me. He sits up when he sees me.

We just stare at each other for a few seconds. I don't know what happened to my courage of a few seconds ago, but right now I just want to run out of here and go cry.

"What are you doing here?" He asks like he didn't just get caught in a lie.

I sigh and I collect myself before I speak. "What's going on Harry?" My shoulders drop like I'm hopeless.

"Li..." He stands up and starts walking towards me, he has a sympathetic look on his face, and I don't understand why. 

Oh, I get it now.

My heart drops when he places his hand on my arm. I look at the contact and then back at him. I exhale and then I push his hand off me. "Stop..." He tenses a bit from my words, just expecting me to melt under his touch like usual.

"No bullshit, just tell me." 

His eyes flicker between mine and then he just looks down. "I just don't like you like that, okay."

Wow just rip the band-aid straight off. 

"Okay," I say trying to sound unaffected, but that's not the case at all. "I'm just gonna." I don't finish my sentence, I just leave. After I shut the door behind me, I push myself back against the wall, taking deep breaths.