The Girl With the Scars

Chapter One

THE GIRL WITH THE SCARS

Copyright © 2013 Creative Kaur

All Rights Reserved

/ / De·pres·sion (noun)  / /

a state of feeling fucking nothing. : a serious medical condition in which a person feels hopeless, unimportant and often is unable to live in a "normal" way.

The previous night was in a sense a blur, and for most teens that would mean a night filled with excessive drinking, partying and fun but for me it was more a battle of trying to fight what was now brutally tearing and clawing it's way out of me.

I awoke startled and confused, blinking the sleep out my eyes unwillingly and looking outside the window only to see darkness. My brain racked itself trying to place the awful noise that was blaring in my room, my eyes eventually landed on the black box next to my bed.

My alarm.

I sighed rolling over in my bed and slamming my fist down in anger as if causing damage to the alarm clock would buy me a couple hours worth of sleep, that I had given to a different kind of darkness that lurks in the night.

6:02am.

I sit up in my bed rubbing my tired eyes and letting out an unattractive yawn. I just don't understand what the point was of summer vacation if I still had to get up early to go to work. I stay seated in my bed for a few more minutes before gaining the courage to step out onto the cold floor of my bedroom.

Looking around on my clothes littered floor, I search around for something clean that I could salvage from the mess. Laundry day was tomorrow so I would worry about that later on, or so I told myself. I finally come across a relatively clean black sweater and some dark blue skinny jeans then head to my washroom.

In the kitchen I read over the note my mom left for me before tossing in the trash.

Its always the same, she's a nurse and she's supposed to be working only night shifts but sometimes she takes on over time going to work all day long. I barely see her anymore and it sucks because I'm constantly all alone. The sparksnotes version of my life would be that my father was a drunk, he was verbally abusive since I could ever remember and then my mom finally had enough of him and they got divorced 3 years ago and  I never saw or heard from him again. His words still haunt me till this day.

Disgusting.

Useless.

Waste of space.

A mistake..

Oh trust me the list goes on, and his words have been drilled into my head. His words, as much I wished I could just let them go, were written in permanent marker in my head. I was ripped of any possible way of ever loving myself and I owe that to that monster.

I finish my toast and head over to the sink rolling my sleeves up to do my dishes. I wince as the hot water comes into contact with my sensitive wrist. I had hurt myself again last night but I deserved it for being such a disappointment to everyone. I've been self harming for over a year now and no one had noticed, my mom was never around long enough to even realize something was wrong with me and at school everyone was having some sort of damn crisis, it's high school.

I turn the water off and dry my hands walking out the door and to hell. Well, I guess I didn't hate my job entirely, just some of the customers that would think of themselves as higher than me just because I was wearing a name tag for a few hours.

Half way through the walk there I pull out my headphones and turn my phone on shuffle.

I smile whispering the lyrics along with the song and shake my hips. I probably looked extremely stupid and most definitely insane but I couldn't care less about that to be honest. With each step I took I was being dragged into a fantasy music video in my head.

But I stop dead in my tracks when I see someone staring directly at me from a distance. I couldn't see his face but I saw his dark curly hair sticking out from under his beanie, he had on an admittedly nice black jacket that was  hiding the first and last letters on his grey hoodie, completed with black skinny jeans.

His hands were in his pockets as he walked closer to me. My heart was pounding from fear and embarrassment as he got closer. I should probably move, or run yanno! He could be a rapist, I tried to move but nope, my body decided to freeze.

"Well hey to you too," he says smirking as he reaches me and I finally gain enough courage to walk away.

please don't follow me, please please don't follow me or kill me or worse take me for ransom and then have my mom refuse to give money then kill me.

"How about you move like that again for me baby?" He says and I turn around give him a look of disgust and he laughs.

"Common I was just kidding!" He called after me amused as I quickly walked from him and continue my way over to Forever 21.

I continuously checked over my back to make sure that he was not in fact behind me as I sped down the rest of the path. As soon as the doors came into sight I bolted as if I had made it to the end of a race, running past the ribboned line.

"Woah why're you in such a rush, you're like-" Shay pauses to look at her wrist "10 minutes early anyways" she finished, looking up from her watch and giving me a look of pure confusion as I stood catching my breath at the door.

I explain everything that had happened on my way here and her snorts and snarky sexual comments were even worse than that of the guys. I simply rolled my eyes and continued to fold some clothes.

"He's probably just a crazy horny guy roaming the streets," she says casually grabbing some hangers and shrugging as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

"I just hope I never see him again" I say and Shay laughs hanging up some clothes that were scattered.

"You know that's like the most cliche line before you end up seeing him everywhere you go from now on," she states earning a glare from my end.

I play around with the buttons on the cash register and she sighs.

"Don't worry about it," she says reassuringly and I take a deep breathe out relaxing.

"You're right" I say realizing I was nervous over nothing.

"Oh my god! So did you hear what Ruby put in Diandra's drink at the party!?" She shouts remembering some 'very crucial event' and I laugh motioning her to continue on with her crazy story.

I look out the store window and pray that I don't run into that creep on my way home, but an irking feeling inside me told me it wouldn't be the last I was seeing of him

A.N.

I am slowly editing this story, my writing has matured quite a lot from when I wrote this a few years back. I cringe trying to edit this so it's taking me a lot of time and willpower not to delete this entirely.