The Girl With the Scars

Chapter Fifteen

Titanium-Sia Cover

“I just want to go for a walk” I whisper to my mom. She looks at me hesitantly but before she could say anything Ms. Reynolds came to me.

“Hailey, I found this in Jason's things, it was addressed to you so I thought I should get it to you” She said giving me the white envelope with my name written in blue pen. I nodded taking it from her.

I didn't have much time to ponder what it was inside that envelope before I heard Spencer call for me.

“I'll come with you” He said but I took a step back from him.

“I’ll go myself” I said looking at the ground.

“It’s starting to get dark out, you are not going alone” He said sternly.

“I think you’ve done more than enough already” I spat at him looking him dead in the eyes.

“I think it would be a good idea if he went with you honey, I don’t want you out alone” She said. I didn’t bother responding nor looking back to see if he was following me because I already knew that he was.

I open the door and a cold breeze blows towards me, calming me for a second before I decided to step forward. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in.

“I want you to know the truth” I hear him say; I open my eyes ignoring him behind me and continue to walk.

“Hailey” He groans catching up to me.

“I don’t want to hear anything” I say shivering mentally slapping myself for not having brought a coat.

“Well I don’t remember giving you a choice” He says coldly.

“And I don’t give a shit” I say not afraid of him anymore. He can’t make my life any worse than it already is and I sure as hell have nothing more to lose.

“Dammit Hailey stop!” He yells and I stop dead in my tracks.

I wasn’t afraid, hell no. I was furious.

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do, don’t try to dictate my life because you’ve already ruined it enough, why don’t you just take your stupid ass back to the place where they taught you how to be in a gang, because I sure as hell know they don’t teach you to fall for with the person you kidnapped. Just leave me alone! I fucking hate you Spencer” I growl at him. He blinks at me a couple times, at first I saw some hurt in his eyes but it was quickly replaced by hatred.

“Nothing left to say?” I say testing his patience, then walk away.

This time I was sure that Spencer wasn’t trailing behind me because I saw him walk in the opposite direction. I meant everything I said to him except for the last part, I don’t know if I hate him. I should but I cant seem to find it in myself to hate him. I kind of wanted to know what he was trying to tell me earlier, what did he mean by the truth?

Maybe he knew what really happened with Jason, what if he wasn't dead, it would make more sense that everything else that was happening to be honest but then again it may just be because I don't want to accept the possibility that he is. My hands clentch subconcoiussly and I realize I was still holding the envelope that Ms.R had given me, I take a seat at a nearby bench and slowly open it.

My Dearest Hailey, 

I know that your'e probably beyond confused right now so I thought I'd make it a little easier on your little brain. I guess you reading this means I'm dead already and I'm sorry for that. I don't have much time to write this and I know I shouldn't have kept you in the dark about all of this but I am protecting you. And now you're probably even more confused. But just know that I love you and this will all make sense to you soon, I promise. I was a part of some dumb and shitty gang business and I shouldn't have been but I didn't have much of a choice. You can't exactly pick up and leave when you're with these kinds of people, there's only one way to get out of a gang and I'm taking the chance. I hope that one day you'll forgive me but please don't do anything stupid Hailey, I know I'm not in any position to be saying that but I would never forgive myself if you hurt yourself because of me.

I love you Hailey and I'm so so sorry. 

-Jason 

I let out a deep shaky breathe, putting the letter on my lap I begin to process everything I read. He wanted to die? Him being killed by Spencer and Jay was all his set up so he could be free? But the question that kept making it's way into my head was, did Spencer know?

I look around and realize I had no clue where I was.

How long was I walking!? Oh god. The street lights were on meaning it was well past 8 now but where was I? How could I be so stupid, I turn around to walk back to where I came from but I stop when I see someone standing in front of me.

“Well well well, who do we have here?” He says.

My heartbeat was racing, if there ever was a time where I wanted Spencer to be with me, this sure as hell was it.

“Hailey Kaler” He says walking around me in a circle.

“Who are you?” I ask bravely, as I tried to place a name to his face, he looked strangely familiar. 

“Awe poor Hailey, what are you doing wandering the streets all alone” He says in a patronizing tone and I keep my mouth shut trying to think of ways of getting away from  him, I can’t outrun him and definitely cant take him down.

Kick him in the balls?

I did it, oh shit he looks pissed. Run Hailey!

I start running but I feel him nearly inches away from me. I really wish I had been less lazy and had gone to the gym on a regular basis, I run as fast as my legs would take me as fear and adrenaline pumped through me.  But I only made so far before he caught up to me. I could not believe I was being kidnapped again. 

“Stupid bitch” He spits lifting me off my feet and throwing me into a van that had followed behind us. He snarled and ranted to the driver about how much of a hassle I was, followed by some cussing but I zoned out watching the trees pass us quickly as the other gruff guy drove, most likely way faster than the speed limit. I try to familiarize myself with the area in which we were heading, but it all looked the same to me.

“Get out” He snarls and I realize we were here.

“This is-“

“Look familiar?” He says cutting me off. I then realize he was third guy that was always around in the house. He helped kidnap me alongside Jay.

“Let’s go” He says roughly dragging me inside.

I noticed that no one was here. Spencer wasn’t for sure because he would have killed this guy for being so rough with me. Well maybe now he really wouldn’t give a damn about me. I shriek when I feel him pick me up and throw me into a room just like they had done to me before. B

ut this time he stayed in the room.

“What-“ I start but he covers my mouth.

“Keep your mouth shut got it” He growly and rips my shirt off.

No no no no!

This was not how I planned on losing my virginity.

“Please I'll do anything else” I say trying to move away but he pins my wrists to the bed with his arms.

“Oh but I only want one thing” He says smirking.

The tears were falling freely now as he tied a white cloth around my head and into my mouth so I couldn’t scream.

I looked up at the ceiling and closed my eyes.

I thought my life couldn’t get worse, and god was I wrong.