The Girl With the Scars

Chapter Eighteen

We arrive to this torn down home in the middle of nowhere. I heard Jay saying something about this being the safe house or something. I guess they’ll be keeping me here for a while since they had packed my bags and talked my mother into letting me go with them somehow. I wasn’t exactly listening in to closely to what the guys were talking about because there was only one thing on my mind. My blades.

Being with them for god knows how long I haven’t been able to ‘relieve’ myself in quite the long time and my anxiety was starting to kick in. I wanted it, I craved it. Damn it! I needed it to survive. Cutting is a strange thing, and the urge to go deeper is always there. And when the urge to cut kicks in, is like trying to stop a train with your body. The longer I go without it, the worse I harm whenever I get the chance, no one will ever truly understand what it’s like or why I do it, no one but another self harmer would know. NO matter how hard I try to explain it, no one will understand me. They’ll call me crazy, a freak, a no good psychopath.

“-you sure?” I hear Jay partly say.

“Yeah” S says getting out of the car.

I follow closely behind S and Jay walking right into their backs when I failed to notice they had stopped.

“I need you to go along with whatever I say and do not talk to anyone in there understood?” S says looking me dead in the eye. I nod nervously wondering who in the world was in this dingy house.

I feel S intertwine his hands with mine as we walk through the doors. 

I stand in awe checking out the god at the door until a voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Who’s the chick?” He asks, I feel Spencer tense as he looks up and glares.

“This is Hailey” Jay says and the guy’s eyes widen as he backs up a bit seeing his hand in mine

“Oh” He says awkwardly walking away. I’m guessing they know better than to mess with him.

We walk into the house and let me say, it is A LOT better on the inside than on the outside. Smart to keep the outside looking like shit though, no one would really pay much attention to a rotting house. But the inside was huge and modernized.

There were about 15 guys all sitting on the couches in what I assume is the living room, and about 10 others just lounging around in the kitchen and on the stairs.

“This is Hailey” S says and they all look smile at me politely which is weird since most of them were covered in tattoos and had piercings but I’d be lying if I said they weren’t hot. S was definitely hotter than them but yeah.. oh god I need to focus.

“As you all know she is going to be staying here with us for a while” Jay continues.

“What about the Sa-“ One guy starts but S cuts him off.

“We discuss that later” He says making it obvious that nothing was supposed to be said in front of me. I sigh feeling in the dark again.

“Come on love I’ll show you to our room” S says and I walk before halting to a stop.

“Wait.Our?” I ask confused. He just smirks and walks ahead.

“You didn’t think I’d let you be alone in a house full of guys now did you?” He asks walking up the stairs.

I walk in silence behind him as he's opening the door to a room that was at the end of the hallway. This was the only room near that end leaving a lot of space between the other rooms on this floor.

“Wow” I say looking around the room. It was about twice the size of my room and had a huge king sized bed in the middle that was covered by these thick fluffy white sheets and blanket that made it look extremely comfortable. He had dressers here and there and his own washroom. The walls were all light blue and completely bare.

“Do you like it?” He asks nervously while scratching the back of his head. I give him a small smile but then take it back remembering how pissed I am at him. He sighs walking over and leading me to the bed. I look at him confused and he shakes his head.

“I need you to listen to me, no interruptions at all okay?” He says and I open my mouth to respond but he gives me a look and I shut up immediately.

“Okay” He says taking a deep breath.

“I did not kill Jason..And neither did Jay” He says looking me dead in the eye and as much as I’d like to roll my eyes at him and not believe him, I saw the honesty in his eyes. He wasn’t lying.

“Then what really happened? What’s ‘the truth’?” I ask hesitantly.

I don’t know if I’m ready to hear this, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to hear this though so here goes nothing.