The Girl With the Scars

Chapter Thirty-Four

You cannot save people, you can only love them

I hadn't spoken to Spencer for over three days now, maybe it’s because I waited a day for him to come back but maybe it was because every time I called him he would ignore it. I leaned further back into the uncomfortable hospital bed and did what I do worst, I waited. They wouldn’t discharge me and I had people from the house constantly coming into the room and talking to me, the same people who I had selfishly left behind. But every time I would ask where Spencer was, they would look around at each other and then change the subject.

“Honestly guys our biggest problem has always been misunderstanding and lack of communication so can someone please get Spencer to talk to me already''  I blurted out gaining the attention of everyone in the room.

“Hailey, he um- he’s busy” Shay says and I groan.

“Yeah yeah he’s been ‘busy’ all week I get it” I say.

I needed to talk to him, I don’t even know where we stand at the moment, being that the last time I saw him he declared his love and I was in too much shock to respond let alone tell the nurses to release him. He was dragged away and I was confused to say the least.

“Cheer up Hailey, you get discharged today!” Jay cheers.

“I just- never mind” I say quickly.

“What?” Jay asks.

“Home, I just want to go home, but I don’t really have a home anymore, I guess I never really did” I said with a chuckle as my eyes started watering.

Jay let out a deep breath and took my hand in his.

“None of us have homes anymore, but  we’re here for each other, whether we never had a place to call home or we had to leave our families behind so they could be safe, but Hailey, I’ve never felt more at home than when I’m with these boys and they all love and care for you” Jay says softly.

My head felt like it was spinning, I was over analyzing things and coming up with countless problems.

“Don’t over think, just for once; don’t let the stupid little things break your happiness” Jay starts.

“And remember Hailey the storm doesn’t last forever” He says smiling softly.

I feel the tears finally break free, the hurt, pain and heaviness finally being let out. I started softly crying and I saw the shock register in Jays face seeing my walls down but he quickly recovered holding me close to his chest. I stiffen a bit but then relax into hold.

“Let it all out” He whispers kissing my forehead.

“Why does it have to hurt so much” I choke out

“I want, I just want to be normal, I don’t want to feel so broken and cold all the time but I also don’t want to have to pretend to be happy” I say“I want to go out and actually be happy to see the world for another day, I don’t want to have a crappy life” I continue.

“It’s up to you to find beauty in your life ” He says.

“Does it ever go away” I say sniffling.

“The hurting , does it ever go away” I ask.

“I don’t know Hailey, I don’t know” Jay says hugging me closer.

***

“Home sweet home” Jay whispers in my ear as he carries my bags into the house. He had convinced Ms.R to let me stay with him for a little while longer.