The Girl With the Scars

Chapter Forty-One

No.

I backed up, taking slow steps until my back hit the wall then slowly slid down. It felt as if the air had been physically knocked out of me. This explained everything, the way he would tell me off with despair ridden in his eyes. He told me he didn't love me but all I saw in his eyes was love mixed with pain. It all made sense now; he had some sick idea that if he got me to hate him, I wouldn't miss him when he was gone.

"Hails" I hear Jason say but my eyes were fixed on the letter, desperately reading it over and over again in hopes that the words would change.

I don't say anything as I choke back tears. This was just one big joke, some fucked up prank they decided to play on me, this wasn't true and I knew it.

Run.

That's all that was going through my mind; I needed to see Spencer so I ran.

"Hails" I hear Jason call after me but I couldn't care less, he knew all along. He knew but he didn't tell me. No one told me, and now it was too late.

The enitre run to his house was only a few blocks but seemed a lot shorter with all the adrenaline that was pumping through me. They all lied to me and now I was going to loose him.

"SPENCER" I let out a blood curdling scream as I enter his house.

"SPENCE" I yell and I feel the tears that I fought so hard start to pour out.

He appeared confused and making his way down the stairs. I threw the letter I had been holding so clutched in my fist at his chest. Once he realised what the paper said he slowly approached me with a defeated sigh he spoke.

"Hailey" He whispered and I let out a chocked cry backing away from him.

"No" I whispered.

"Nooo" I repeated as my vision got blurry by unshed tears.

"Please...please just tell me this is a joke because I can handle you hating me but I can't handle you d-d" I hiccupped and cried. He made his way over to me fighting tears of his own as he did what I've wanted for days. He held me in his arms and whispered the words over and over again.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry" He said shedding tears of his own.

"There are treatments and- and doctors they can fix you Spence" I said stumbling over my words. He looked down at me and gave a weak smile.

"They've tried Hails, I-they can't fix me" He whispered placing his forehead on mine.

"Why" I croaked.

"It's stage 3 cancer, they caught it too late" He sighed.

"So this is why you convinced me you never loved me" I croaked and he sighed heavily.

"It would be easier for you to let me go if you hated me baby" He said softly.

"So now you just" I hesitated.

"No, I'm not just going to die Hailey, I want to live" He said.

"I'm going to make the most out of what's left of my life"

***

"Where are we going Spence?" I ask again for the eight time.

"We're almost there" He says again.

I sigh shrinking back into the car seat and closing my eyes. We had stayed back at his place until I calmed down and he told me how he wanted to live the heck out of his life before having to stay at the hospital again. I made sure it was safe though for him to be out and about, apparently it hadn't taken too big of a toll on him just yet as he was still strong, not as strong as before but still pretty good.