Cinematic Adventures: Corpse Bride

A Wedding to Remember

Back in the living world, the wedding reception for Victoria and Barkis could very well be considered a wake more than a celebration. The dinner party being held has all the formality of a funeral. Multiple salad forks, finger bowls, and everything placed just so. The only other sound aside from the occasional tinkle of glass and silverware was Hildegarde weeping as she brought out the extremely small wedding cake and set it down at the long table where all the wedding guests sat. Among them, Maudeline Everglot was in her element, working the crowd, who sit chewing the bland meal like wax statues. All of the guests sitting at the table shared the same bored, emotionless expressions.

At the head of the table, Victoria sat completely frozen and terrified. It was official that now she was a married woman, much to her utter horror. Her new husband, Lord Barkis, sat along the head of the table beside Victoria with the same smug look on his face. He tried to take Victoria's hand, but she merely pulled away.

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Meanwhile, the village square is silent and still. The only person out at this hour was the town crier, lighting the streetlamps. Just then, the clatter of hooves on cobblestones drew the attention of the Town Crier himself. He looked up and saw Van Dort's carriage coming over the bridge, racing toward the village at a breakneck pace. It barreled through the gates, circled the square on two wheels, and then...

*SMASH!*

All the other villagers peered from the windows and their eyes widen with shock. The driverless Van Dort carriage smashed right into the statue, the horses trotting away into the night. Resorting to his default behavior, the Town Crier pulled out his bell and started ringing.

"HERE YE! HERE YE! VAN DORT FAMILY CARRIAGE CRASHES IN VILLAGE SQUARE! NO SURVIVORS!"

A second later, moaning and groaning draws the man's attention. The very shaken Van Dort parents emerged from the cabin.

"TWO SURVIVORS!!!" The Town Crier corrected himself.

"Our driver, Mayhew, expired while at the reins!" William explained.

"Hmph! Quite rude!" Nell spat, indignantly.

Before they could continue, the Town Crier rung his bell again.

"UNGRATEFUL SURVIVORS BLAME VICTIM!" He cried out.

"So much for impartiality," William replied to no one particularly. "Why the Dead crossing the streets are more subtle."

"Well, isn't this peachy!" Nell grumbled, absentmindedly. "First our son runs off late in the night. Then there's bloody talk of him eloping with a corpse of all things! My idiot husband replaces him with a broomstick! Ooh... if I ever get my hands on that boy, I'll... William, did you mention the dead?

Just then, a loud set of noises, like a jubilant carnival could be heard crossing down the streets. The disgruntled Van Dorts and the Town Crier turned around, and to their shock another wedding party was arriving. Only this wedding party was, for lack of a better word, 'dead'. So stunned, the Town Crier dropped his bell and the broomstick, of which William held, snapped at the head.

"Good... Lord!" Nell gasped.

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Back at the Everglot Dining Room, Lord Barkis stood up with his wine glass for a toast. Normally, he'd have to wait for the room to grow silent. But frankly, it's already 'library' level quiet.

"Quiet down now, everyone," He announced. "Thank you. As many of you know, it was a quick courtship for Victoria and I. But love is like that—elegant, cultured, radiant, spontaneous, and unexpected. Unbridled even! Victoria has found a husband with all these qualities and more. Serendipity may have brought us together, but no force on Earth could ever tear us apart."