roses of glass { sabo | 1 }

Chapter Fifteen

Arabella pov

"Woah, I'm gonna need a time out here!" Itami exclaims, "What do you mean that you pinned Sabo down and made out with him?!"

"Exactly that." I say as I sip my cranberry juice.

Kira rubbed her temples, "Well that about explains it all..."

I finally told Itami and Kira about what happened after the party between Sabo and I at lunch time. Luckily, I opted to eat lunch outside today by the Academy greenhouse. No one (unless you're taking Biology) really comes to the greenhouse.

"That's..." Itami stammers, "that's just...so unlike you, Bells. What were you thinking? What was going through your head?"

I sigh, "I do not know. One moment I was content in letting Sabo leave...the next I just...wanted to feel that feeling again. I wanted to feel what I had felt in the closet with Sabo...he...it almost feels like he lifted a weight off of my heart."

Itami sat there, mouth agape. Kira moved her wrist and closed her cousin's jaw shut, making Itami snap out of her stunned state. This is partially one of the reasons why I have been so hesitant in telling these two. They just will not stop blowing this up. It is tiring.

"You literally have more balls than me and my whole family combined." Itami scratches the back of her neck, "You are actually insane-Ow! Kira!"

"That's no way to talk to Arabella like that! We should be celebrating that Arabella went ahead and made the first move! I know how long it took for you and Ace to make your first moves!" Kira hisses.

"Hey, I hadn't told Arabella about Ace and I yet." Itami sighs, "Okay, yes Bells...Ace and I may be...to put lightly...just friends..."

"With benefits." I finish.

Itami stares at me with a confused frown, "You knew? Wait no, let's not distract ourselves. We'll come back to that." Itami pushes her hair back with both of her hands, mushing her face into her arms momentarily. "Sorry Bells...it's just," she sits up, "you had told me like what...last week? That you did not like Sabo this way. Yet, you're now just casually making out with him? I need like, an explanation here because I am perpetually confused right about now."

I purse my lips as I recall that night. That night where I lowered my self-control. That night where I allowed myself to act upon my emotions, instead of letting them simmer. My mind had been rushing then. I just knew that one thing was on my mind at that point - I wanted Sabo's touch. And I could tell, that he had been thinking the same thing, too.

"I...I am not sure if I can call this love." I say, "There is not enough evidence for me to fully comprehend my feelings. I feel like I have been given all of these pieces of a 1,000 part puzzle, but have no picture to reference from. But that night...I just wanted to kiss him again." I scrunch my fingers together and could feel my jaw slide out, "He was my first kiss."

I sense Kira and Itami look at each other in shock. Kira's hand reaches over and clasps over my own, a gentle squeeze warming me.

"Well...it's understandable. I mean, you never really had experiences like Itami and I. This is your first year away from home, and they didn't exactly train you up to experience this." Kira smiles with reassurance, "But I gotta admit, what you did is crazy! Crazy in a good way. I mean...I could never do that. I'm too shy!"

"Yeah...! I mean, I always knew you were gusty but holy shit, dude." Itami chirps.

"The thing is..." I feel them look at me, "is that I am not sure if I even want to explore this anymore." I carry on before either of them interrupt, "Brienna approached me yesterday. I think...I think she knows about me kissing Sabo."