Impulse (NaNoWriMo)

~17~

"What's the matter?" Flynn asked me and I had to snap out of my thoughts to remember he was sitting right beside me.

"Nothing, I just remembered something," I told him. I hopped off the chair and was ready to go, but then I realized we hadn't paid yet so I leaned on the back of his awkwardly to play off my random standing.

"Why do you look so glum then?" he pressed.

"Glum? Where did that word come from?" I asked. I definitely do not remember anyone ever describing me as looking glum.

"I don't know. I guess your eyes just looked all droopy and your lip was jutted out like you were disappointed. Seriously though, are you okay?" Flynn worried and it made me feel all mushy inside that he was so concerned about my face looking slightly sad.

"Yes! I'm fine!" I promised.

"'I'm fine' is the most common lie ever told," Flynn quoted dramatically. He threw some money on the table and got up to stand beside me. The waitress came back and thanked him, but he wasn't paying any attention to her, he was looking straight at me.

"I am happy," I altered my answer and I grabbed Flynn's hands in the process.

"I am happy that you are happy," Flynn replied. He was leaning down to kiss me, but I figured we had scarred enough people's brains with out make out sessions in one restaurant that we better take it outside.

I pulled his arms with me towards the door and he followed looking slightly disappointed that I didn't kiss him. When we got back to the motorcycle and Flynn was about to hand me my helmet, I stopped him and turned his body towards mine by grabbing the belt loops of his jeans.

"Listen to me," I ordered him, and he did exactly as I said.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and stepped closer so that I had to look up to see his face.

"I am happy. I am happier than I have been in months, maybe even years. You make me happy. Got it?" I asked him, making sure he knew I was being completely serious. This was my happiness and I wasn't lying when I told him how I felt. He made me happy. I don't know how one person in a week could change everything in my life, but he had.

"Yes. Can I kiss you now?" he requested and when that grin spread across his lips I couldn't resist.

I reached up on my tip toes so I could kiss him. His arms tightened around my back and pulled me closer. My fingers twisted in the hem of his t-shirt and I could taste the sweetness of maple syrup on his lips.

"You make me happy too," Flynn whispered after breaking the kiss. His hair had fallen down over his cheeks and I wanted to fix it, but I was frozen in place. His voice, his breath on my lips, everything just amazed me.

After a lingering moment he let me go and handed me my helmet and soon we were off. There was a lot of breathtaking scenery in Montana and Flynn wanted to show me it all. He wanted me to see everything he had seen in the past four years all at once. He was quite ambitious let me tell you.

It was sunny and 85 degrees and everything just seemed so alive. The mountains in the distance were what made me so amazed. I had never seen mountains up close and in person. Back home in Indiana there were some hills, but they were just that. Hill. Not towering, majestic, snow capped completely massive mountains.

I relaxed and put my hands out to the side so I could feel the air blowing past. Flynn glanced back at me and smiled. We were both in such a great mood. I wasn't sure if it was the pancakes or the kissing, but whatever it was, I didn't want it to go away.

Even though last night I was crying and I was a mess and I couldn't believe I was telling him everything, today I was different. I wasn't scared anymore. I wasn't nervous. I wasn't worried about what Flynn would think of me. Even though consciously I didn't realize that I was worried, I realize now that I was.

Now he knew everything, he may not know all the tiny details about my life, but he knew the major ones and a few random things to get by. He knew where I grew up, where I went to school, how I felt about high school and college and what happened to my sister. That was the big picture.

But he also knew some of the fine little details. He knew that I liked chocolate milkshakes and french fries. He knew I never untied my shoes unless absolutely necessary. He knew I learned to how braid from my sister. He knew I once tried to dye my hair blue but it didn't quite work and I ended up with a light greenish-gray streak instead.

It was weird how many random things we had talked about while on the road, but it all seemed important.

For example, I knew Flynn prefered it when girls didn't wear a lot of makeup. I knew he once wanted a drum set, but his father bought him a guitar instead and that was how he learned how to play the guitar. I knew he got in a fist fight at school and that was why the counselor advised him to enlist and go to basic training, so he could get some discipline and learn some respect. I learned he could be the bad guy if he wanted because that is why he grew up around, but at heart he could be polite and respectful.

I knew he wasn't going to walk away from me. We had that conversation last night. We had curled up together and I was at that point where I was incredibly tired, but I didn't want to fall asleep because the present moment was too nice to ruin by simply falling asleep.

"Faith, I want to tell you to know something," he had said. He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and lifted my tired head up to look at him.

"Hmm?" I replied. I had no idea what he was about to say was going to be as meaningful as it was.

"When we get back, when I take you back home," he clarified, "Can I stay with you? Will you let me stay? I don't know what I'm going to do without you."

His honest and pleading tone rushed over me and my eyes opened wider as I realized what he was saying. He wanted to stay with me. He wanted to move, ac, like actually pack up everything and move. Just to be with me.

"Of course," I had assured him, because what else could I say?

"Seriously?" he questioned. He was obviously stunned at my response. What had he expected me to say?

"Of course," I repeated, smiling up at him. I closed my eyes and snuggled into him. The idea of this road trip not ending when I got him excited me. Until that moment I hadn't thought of going home, or ending this adventure, but when he said he didn't want it to end, I realized I didn't want it to end either.

Now I was feeling the wind in my hair and the warmth of the sun shining down on us and I couldn't imagine going back. Part of me just wanted to stay out here forever. I just wanted to keep driving, to keep finding places, to keep exploring the corners of the country that only locals knew about. Flynn had been doing it for the past couple summers, so why couldn't I do it full time?

"Oh my God," Flynn uttered. He slowed the motorcycle down dramatically and I grabbed at his waist so I wouldn't fly straight into his back.

"What?" I asked. "Why are we stopping?" I wondered. I tore my gaze away from the marvelous scenery and looked at the road ahead.

We had been going around a curve in the road and up ahead I saw a car had veered to the right and had hit a guardrail. The engine was smoking and the whole hood of the car was crumpled up like a soda can someone had stepped on.