The Reluctant Cougar (Rise of the Alpha King's Heir)

Advice

"Jus-just use your fingers," Eileen panted, tugging on his head. "Come up here and kiss me."

Ben's heart sank as he numbly did as requested, wiping his mouth free of her juices before capturing her lips. He poured as much passion into his kiss as he could, desperate to make it up to her somehow. His fingers danced over her smooth stomach and lower, determined to do something right at least. He'd failed her, but he had to--

"No, stop, stop!" Eileen demanded, pulling away from him and grabbing his arm to stop his movements.

Tears threatened. Now he couldn't even finger her right?

"Ben," she said softly, reaching out to cup his chin. "It's okay. Not everything always works right the first time."

He flinched away from her, sat with his legs hanging off the edge of the bed, and hung his head in shamed defeat. His every instinct yelled at him to leave, but if he did he wouldn't see her for another week. If he left, he might hurt her. It wasn't her fault he wasn't...that he couldn't...

The words of her ex-boyfriend danced through his mind, taunting him. "...is your Mate able to please you?"

No, no he was not. 

How could he call himself a man? This was supposed to come so easily, so naturally. He'd dreamed about it for years, and yet he'd still failed her.

"Benji," she murmured beseechingly. He felt the bed shift as she got to her knees behind him.

Again the urge to run bled through his body, and again he fought it. He'd already failed to please her. He wouldn't run from her. He'd learned that lesson from watching his father. If Eileen decided she didn't want him, it'd kill him, but he wouldn't run from her.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, sliding like satin against his heated body. Her hair fell across his skin in a tortuous, slow tickle of pleasure. Her scent wrapped around him like a familiar friend.

What if she decided he wasn't man enough for the job? What if she decided she was right all along about him being too young, too inexperienced? What would he do if she left him for another male? Being his Bloodmate wouldn't hold her to him forever. He needed to prove to her that he could be everything she ever wanted, everything she ever needed. If he couldn't, she might leave him and find somebody that could, somebody that knew how to give her pleasure in ways he still could only dream about. 

She kissed his neck then grazed it lightly with her teeth. His nerves caught fire, but his mind was still in chaos, muting the sensation.

"What's wrong, Ben?" she asked, nuzzling his skin.

What's wrong? Was she going to make him admit it? Was his failure not bad enough?

"Your emotions are all over the place," she whispered against his skin. Then her fingers began to gently trace over his chest, his arms: massaging him, comforting him.

Ben squeezed his eyes shut. He was already feeling the weight of his inexperience. He didn't need to cry like a child and further prove that he wasn't mature enough for her.

"Please talk to me," she begged, voice uncertain.

He couldn't, couldn't admit how useless he was to her.

She pulled away from him after several minutes of prolonged silence. As she left the bed, the disappointment he felt from her ripped his heart out. A tear trickled down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it away.

Eileen grabbed her discarded clothes and headed towards the bathroom. It didn't escape his attention that she wasn't comfortable with her nudity around him anymore; usually she got dressed in front of him--sometimes he helped. Not now, though, not now that he'd failed her. Now she was going to hide her body from him.