Remember May (GxG)

27. Gone With The River

"I'm so happy you're back," Paul said as he came up to hug me. I'd asked him to meet me somewhere because I didn't want to risk running into his father.

"Yeah. My pa came for me."

"I know."

Falling into step beside him, I scoffed, "Your father tells you everything, doesn't he?"

"Don't be mad," he said nervously, fidgeting with the silver ring on his index finger "but I'm the one who called your father."

I stopped walking and he did too, looking more terrified than I'd ever seen him.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because it's wrong, Nad! There's nothing wrong with who you are," he said.

I shook my head and scoffed again. I wasn't even angry. Paul was just a hypocrite like everyone else.

"If you really believe that why don't you tell your father what you are then?" I taunted.

He smiled almost as if he had expected me to go there. "Theres such a thing as foolish bravery. I'm not stupid. I know he'll try to "fix" me if I tell him. I'm just waiting until I'm financially independent and then I'll move out and leave this town."

"They'll disown you."

"I know," he said nonchalantly as he continued walking and I rushed after him, "I've known who I am since I was a kid. I've had time to come to terms with what will happen if they know but I'm not selling myself just for their acceptance. It will hurt but they're just two people."

"How are you so okay with being..."

"Being what?" He smiled when I stopped talking, "you can't even say it."

I glared at him in response.

He suddenly grabbed my wrist and pulled me in the opposite direction, "I have something to show you."

☆☆☆

"It's a cave."

"Will you just follow me please?" He said impatiently.

I was not a huge fan of small spaces but I followed him regardless through the small opening.

After walking a short distance through the narrow tunnel, I heard what sounded like a waterfall at a distance. We then came to a large opening with the large water mass in sight.

"Oh my God!" I gushed at Paul who was already grinning at me. He looked so alive like that.

"I know!"

"I didn't know this was here!" I exclaimed walking closer towards the waterfall.

Paul didn't speak for some time, just letting me take in the view.

"So why did you bring me here?" I asked once I'd had enough.

He stood in front of me and took my hands staring into my eyes.

"Say it."

"What?"

"Say it," he grinned again. He looked like a child when he did that, "say it. Nobody will know, the river will carry it."

"Say what?"

"Say it," he said more sternly.

I shook my head and started to pull away from him but stopped in my tracks when he yelled, "I am gay!"

"Paul!"

He laughed before he shouted the words again. He then dropped my hands and walked closer to the waterfall jumping onto a wet boulder. He held out his hands with the stupid grin still on his face, "I am gay!"

He turned to me again holding out his hand for me.

What did I have to lose anyway? The river would take it away.

His grin was contagious, his energy was contagious and so I let myself drown in him and in the moment.

"I'm a lesbian," I screamed but the words felt so foreign in my mouth, so heavy like lead.

"Again."

I nodded before saying it again, and again and again, each time louder and lighter than the previous.

Somewhere along the way as we screamed in unison I had started crying but I was also laughing because for the first time in a long time, I was genuinely happy. I was the happiest that I'd ever been.

I couldn't stop smiling and neither could Paul. When he hugged me and whispered, "We'll be okay," I believed him.

A/N:
I need queer friends, to just be queer with and do queer things, is that TOO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm sorry.
I love you, okay?
Please vote and comment 💛

-Reign 💛