Remember May (GxG)

35. Let Me Die

"I don't understand," I said for the millionth time as I kept pacing around the apartment.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, Paul!" I screamed, "I don't know! We had a good time yesterday and we made plans to leave and now..."

"She didn't say anything before she left," he said making it more of a statement than a question.

"No! She just left me a letter. A stupid letter that doesn't even explain what happened. Oh my God I can't believe this is happening, how could she do this to me?" I wiped away the tears as I furiously ran my hands through my hair.

"Are you sure nothing happened yesterday?"

"Nothing that explains this! I'm going to kill myself..."

"Nad, don't say that."

"What happened? Things were going according to plan, we were going to be okay."

Paul joined me on the floor where I'd been rocking back and forth to hug me.

I went through various stages of pain after that. The first one where pain is all you feel and it hurts so bad you think it'll kill you. Then the second one when you can't cry anymore, all you do is heave and your head hurts like hell. Then the third where you're just numb. You don't feel anything anymore. You'd think it would mean that one is closer to healing but it's worse than the pain.

My ma heard, everybody did. And so she came to see me.

She did most of the talking, I had nothing to say. She suggested that I move back home, that we could work things out but I declined. I was bound to move out eventually, I said.

Paul came to see me every day, he tried to cheer me up but that wasn't the kind of thing you just moved on from. I had questions and the only person I could ask had left. She left me.

"Maybe you should work on your relationship with Paul. He's a good boy," my ma had said to me one day.

When I told Paul, he laughed and said that his father had told him the same. Well not exactly the same, but that Paul could help me.

A/N:
I told you, you really can't trust anybody. What even is this

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-Reign 💛