Broken To Make Wishes

Chapter 01

I eyed myself in the mirror. It's a habit, actually. Not to appreciate myself. But to lessen my confidence.

Everyone called me weird for doing it but it's part of me. They should be used of it.

I was wearing a white lacey long sleeve dress. High-low ito. The front ended an inch above my knees while the back almost touched the floor. I was skinny, pale, and petite. My lips were shaped like a cupid's bow, misplaced in a small face. I had that black, almond-shaped eyes and perfectly arched thick eyebrows. My hair's long, nearly waist length. It's black, with wavy ends, and thin bangs.

I was beautiful. I was loved. I was valued.

Pero lagi kong kinukumpara ang sarili ko sa ibang babae. Mas maganda sila. Kahit walang makeup ay nagmumukha pa rin silang anghel.

I didn't use makeups. Ni minsan ay hindi pa nalagyan ng kung ano ang mukha ko. I was always bare faced. Even in important events. Hindi naman kasi nila ako napipilit. Kahit mukha akong lone wolf, o mahinhin na hindi marunong umayaw, I knew how to say no. Good thing they also knew how to accept no as an answer.

Sabi nila ay maganda ako.

Hindi ako naniniwala.

Sabi nila na kapag walang makeup na suot, nagmumukha akong masungit but truth was, my attitude was opposite of that. Ang naka-arko at makapal kong kilay ang nagpapasungit sa akin. Minsan lang naman ako masungit. Kapag nireregla siguro.

Humiga ako sa kama pagkatapos suklayin ang buhok at in-off ang ilaw ng kwarto. The moon was the only thing that's giving light at night. The light made me think why some people would take advantage of someone's kindness and bully them just because they're nice. It made me wonder why the world wouldn't treat you better just because you're a good person.

I closed my eyes, embracing the darkness. All I wanted to dream forever was darkness. It's like escaping the grievous world, letting the colors go except black. I loved the sun but I loved the moon more. I loved the light but I loved the night more. And I hoped, I'd stay with it.

"Gatas, Sitara," si Lolo pagkatapos naglapag ng isang baso ng gatas sa countertop, sa harap ko.

"Wala po ba itong asukal?"

Umiling si Lolo at ngumiti. Si Lola kasi lagi ang nagtitimpla ng gatas ko sa umaga pero dahil may ginagawa si Lola, si Lolo ang nagtimpla ngayon. Tumango ako at ngumiti rin bago inubos ito.

Milk was one of my favorite drink. Kahit na malaki na ako ay hindi yata ako makakaalis ng bahay nang walang lamang gatas ang tiyan. So, Lola's used to making one for me every morning.

Tahimik ang kalye nang lumabas ako ng bahay kasama ang anim na taon na kapatid. She's bubbly, unlike me. Her armpit length hair swayed while she's walking, head turning everywhere. Golden brown iyon, siguro ay sa hindi kilalang ama niya namana. Her eyes were chinky and colored like a coffee, which was also the color of our mother's eyes. Manipis ang labi, mabilog ang pisngi, at medyo matangkad. Ang pinagkatulad lang yata namin ay ang kulay ng balat— maputi.

While she looked soft, I looked harsh. While she's cheerful, I was boring. While she's into studying, I was into reading novels. While she's always excited about everything, I was almost always caging myself in my room.

But we both cried over petty things. We both didn't have fathers. We were just fragile souls misplaced in this cruel world.

Isang minutong lakad bago namin narating ang paradahan ng mga tricycle. I almost jumped in surprise when I saw Placido there. Ngumisi siya at kumaway nang nakita kami. Kaagad na lumapit si Eirian sa kaniya at nagpakarga.