Wish I Had Time For Complicated

105. Lifeless On The Ground

Michael watched with terror as his wife fell lifeless in his hands and all he could see and feel was the blood that was flowing from between her legs and her weight in his arms. She had fallen unconscious.

The engineer didn't waste any time and took her bridal style, quickly going down the stairs and to his car, the elevator too slow for him to wait for it. All the anger in his system had vanished, leaving only a tremendous amount of worry.

His heart was beating rapidly and Michael felt like he was being short on breath as he drove to the nearest hospital, avoiding to look at the blood on his hands with everything he had. And as much as he tried to stop the guilty worried tears, they just fell from his ocean eyes which anxiously glanced at Sara who was lying unconscious in the back seat.

All he could do was silently pray that she was alright, but the more negative thoughts swam in his head, the more Michael was panicking.

Thankfully, the nurses had taken care of Sara quickly, having taken her into a room the moment Michael entered the lobby with her still unmoving in his hands. And now he was sitting on one of the chairs in the waiting room, his leg shaking with anxiety and impatience and his head was buried in his hands. It was throbbing painfully, but now he had much more important things to think about.She had been in that damn room for two hours now...

Sara's words kept on repeating in his mind like a curse. She was infertile. They couldn't have children together. The more Michael thought about it, the sadder he got. He wanted a family with Sara. In fact, it was a dream for him. But what hurt more was how Sara was going to get over this.She didn't deserve for such a thing to happen to her.

And now Michael felt terrible. He had shouted at her, blamed her and tired her with his ranting without knowing that she hadn't been feeling well.It was all his fault that she was lying in there now. If he had only tried to talk calmly with her and try to understand her. But instead he had chosen to be selfish for his own self to be calm.

The guilt and sadness were eating the engineer alive and it felt like he had sirens in his head. The tears started flowing again and Michael couldn't care that there were 20 more people in the damn room, he was just praying for Sara to be okay.

His negative thoughts were consuming him fully, creating a dark space around him that Michael seemed unable to escape. The ringing in his ears only intensified and he barely heard someone calling his name.

The white soft lights of the room hurt his sensitive eyes when he looked up and a female doctor with a pitiful expression on her middle aged face was standing before him. Michael immediately stood up, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he prepared himself for the worst.

"I'm doctor Gray. Can I have a word with you? That's if you're feeling okay, of course"

The woman gave him a gentle smile, trying to ease the visibly beyond worried young man. And Michael would of appreciated her gentleness and kindness of it were any other situation, but right now all on his mind was Sara. He was irritated, worried, angry, oh so anxious and tired that he didn't have it in himself to talk, so he just nodded swiftly.

"your wife had a miscarriage. She lost quite a bit of blood, but she's stable now. She's just resting"

Dr. Gray said quietly, and seeing how the man's eyes watered at hearing his wife's condition, she couldn't help but feel the toll on her chest too. Many young families fall apart just because of the inability of one of them to reproduce and for some reason the doctor felt bad at thinking that this couple could go through the same.

"when can I see her?" Questioned Michael, his voice hoarse. That was the only thing he cared about. Seeing her alright.

" well she's sleeping now, she needs the rest. You can come visit her at seven. Maybe bring her some toiletries and clothes since we'll keep her tonight and tomorrow "

doctor Gray informed him in a soft voice, followed by a small smile and when Michael said nothing she took it as her cue to leave,disappearing back into the full hospital halls. Michael stared at her fading figure for a few more moments, feeling how he was zoning out and his limbs were giving up on him.

But with a deep breath to try to clear his fogged mind a bit, the engineer slowly made his way out of the hospital and couldn't even care about the heavy drops of rain that were piercing his skin, washing away Sara's blood from his hands. At least they couldn't see his tears in the rain.

Michael felt like screaming. He wanted to curse and yell and smash things. He cried like a baby on the way to his car, no longer able to hold the tears. They had just lost their first child together, something that both Sara and him had wanted so much to have.

A throaty scream escaped his mouth when he was finally in his car, his hands angrily hitting the steering wheel repeatedly as he sobbed and cried. He was completely broken. Losing Sara had hurt so much, but he had somehow escaped. However, now as they lost a part of them, Michael felt more incomplete than ever and the pain in his chest was making him struggle for air.

And he didn't even want to know how his wife was feeling about it. He imagined how terrible of news that would be for a woman. He hated, no, he actually despised that this was happening to her. Sara didn't fucking deserve it. He was heartbroken, but she... That must of ruined her.

Michael wanted to be strong, he knew he had to be. For him and Sara. One of them had to be. No matter what was happening he needed to get his shit together and be there for his wife. She needed him the most right now and if he wasn't there for her, who would be?

With shaking, still slightly bloody hands Michael wiped his teary eyes and took another deep breath, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat and hushed away the painful thoughts in his head. He needed to focus on Sara and her well being now. He had no right to be selfish. This was her battle and all he could do is shield her and be there to heal her wounds.

So after another 10 minutes of him trying to calm down, Michael's Audi roared to life as he put the key in the ignition start and drove home to take the necessary things Sara would need while staying in the hospital. And in the mean time tried not to completely fall apart again.

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