The Unofficial Gallagher

Chapter 50

   Unedited.

  Warning ⚠️ This chapter contains triggers and talk of illegal activities with description. PLEASE DO NOT attempt any of the description at home! For that reason, this chapter is rated MATURE because of the activity mentioned. ⚠️

  "We can move on from this. We can have another baby."

"You just stay put and let the doctors do their thing. When you're cleared, spend another week, visit the spa, calm yourself down. It won't look good if you're a mess when you return."

"My mother and Nonna haven't left the church all day."

"Pop says it's for the best. A sign that our next baby will be strong."

"Chin up Kennedy for Christ's sake and don't make this a bigger deal than it is!l

Kennedy stared down at her hands that were clutching her bedsheet with a iron grip. Everyone, even Ian, tried to tell her it wasn't her fault. That these things happen sometimes.

But she knew it was her fault.

It was.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

"The fuck you blowing my phone for Ian?!" Ian leaned against the hallway wall, nurses and doctors walking past him endlessly.

"Mick....." Ian swallowed thickly and there was some shuffling over the phone.

"What happen? She run into your arms like the Disney Princess she is?"

".....She had a miscarriage."

"..........shit."

"While she was sitting across from me at lunch."

"Fuck. Shit man, she doing okay?" Ian's lips quirked up sadly.

   Despite everything, Mickey had a soft spot for Kennedy, since she was pregnant with Shiloh, making sure no one bothered her when she was outside the Gallagher's house etc.

"Not really, and what's worse is that prick basically told her to brush it off."

"The fuck? What kind of fucking shit is that? Where does that mother fucker live, I'll-"

"Mr. Gallagher?" Ian lifter his gaze to stare down at a petite nurse who shifted a tray covered meal in her hands.

"And than I'll hang that fucker by his legs off the bridge-"

"I'll have to call you back Mick." Ian hung up while Mickey continued to rant, tucking his smartphone away.

"Yeah, can I help you?"

  "Miss Brewer refuses to eat and I need to give her the medicine," the nurse sighed before looking at Ian pleadingly, "do you think you could get her to eat?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll try." The nurse's shoulders dropped and she gladly handed him the tray before bustling off.

Biting his lip, Ian opened the door to Kennedy's hospital room, walking inside quietly. She was sitting up in bed, fingers strolling on her phone.

"Hey, your stressing out the poor nurses out there by not eating." He placed the tray over the table that hovered above her.

"I'm not hungry." She mumbled and Ian frowned, watching her avoid eye contact and continue to type and across across her phone.

"Kennedy, you gotta eat something."

"I don't deserve to live." Ian blinked, taken aback by her statement and snatched the phone out of her hands, ignoring her cry of protest.

"Why would you say that about yourself?" He put her phone in his pocket for the time being and she deflated, however the anger still drizzled in her eyes.

"I just don't Ian, okay? I'm a horrible fucking person and it's my fault the baby died." Kennedy snapped, blinking back angry tears and he moved  to sit next to her on the edge of her bed.

"No you're not. I've met horrible  people and you Kennedy Brewer, are not one. It's not your fault either. These things happen."

   "Tony and his family seem to think so." She muttered and Ian sat up straighter, narrowing his eyes.

"What? I thought you said his mother loved you?" Kennedy laughed dryly, shaking her head.

  "She's a old hag whose hated me since I first met her. I've heard his mother and aunts whispering. I'm not considered Italian because I'm half. It's not good enough for their pure blood standards."

"Well fuck them. Don't let them get into your head. You've done nothing wrong. I know it feels like you did but you didn't. You carried Shiloh full term didn't you? He's healthy isn't he? It's not you." Ian presses and she shook her head.

"It is. After you met up with my in the church, I was so upset. I hated that Tony had found a way to keep us apart......I made myself a Drano margarita ..... I almost had the drink to my mouth before Tony caught me..... I had to go to the emergency room afterwards and I still hadn't miscarried."

"Drano margarita?" Ian gave her a look that clearly read 'what the fuck.' and eyed her wearily yet he was internally seething at the idea of that bastard beating her bad enough to send her to the hospital.

"My great aunt on my mother's side, told me about it. You take 1/2 a cup a Drano for every week that you've been pregnant mixed with a margarita," Kennedy buried her face in her hands, "I'm an unfit mother and an even worse human being....I couldn't do it and now God is punishing me for what I almost did."

  "Kennedy stop it right now," the authority in Ian's voice immediately stopped her crying and she stared at his through tear eyes, "I don't wanna hear you beat yourself up another minute about this. This is all that bastard's fault, getting into your head. You're better than this, I know you're better than this."

"What choice do I have? I might as well die because as soon as I get back to New York, Tony'll kick the ever loving shit out of me. I'll probably die alone on my own polished hardwood floors." She shrugged sadly and Ian scowled.

"What about Shiloh? What about our son who is waiting for his mom to come home? You're going to just leave him behind?" Ian searched her eyes, finally seeing the flash of clarity begin to clear her eyes.

"I don't want to go back Ian.......I'm so scared." She whispered, moving into his arms when the tall redhead opened his arms to her.

Holding her close, Ian rubbed her back, kissing the top of her head, feeling her shuddering sobs that wreaked her body. "I promise you, this time, I'm not going to let you go. I don't care if it kills me, I'm gettin you out of there."

Hi, so I know it's been a while but this chapter has been a writer's block for me for ages. I finally decided to just publish it. To be completely honest, I don't have a real set ending as of yet, this story is just blooming as it goes along. I'm still looking for a beta reader which would be a lot of help.

I'm honestly open to any suggestions you guys might have, DM me your ideas and I'll get back to you ASAP. Who knows, you might just give me the idea to move forward which means new chapters quicker. - M ♥️😊