Serendipity - A Yuzuru Hanyu Fanfic

xxxvii.

Luna's POV

I am not feeling good. And I don't mean I'm not ready to perform. I'm mentally and emotionally ready as I can be. I did not train myself to death to come here unprepared.

Physically, I'm not. I probably never was physically ready in the first place. I'm at my limit. I wasn't even supposed to be back at the sport, remember? But hey. I'm at the Olympics and the feeling is so surreal. 

"Ladies, you may now begin your 6-minute warm-up."  

I took a deep breath and handed my blade guards to my Uncle beside me and skated off with the rest of the ladies for our warm-up. Stepping onto the ice and going to the middle of the rink, I hear nothing but the muffled cheers of the crowd. 

"From Canada, Luna Saito."  I didn't even hear the other ladies before me being called until my own, making me bow and wave gracefully to the audience. As soon as everyone was called, we all skated in different directions to begin the warm-up.

I did say that I am not feeling good physically but it's kinda like the accident a few days ago when I injured my knee. The adrenaline made all the pain and exhaustion go away. Now the only emotions I'm feeling are excitement, pressure, and honor to even be able to compete.

As we talked about last night, Uncle Brian said that as soon as I get on the ice, I should test my knee. It's actually feeling better than yesterday before the short program so that means something, right?

Feeling that I'm ready, I proceed to practice my jumps starting with a quad toe-triple toe which I had no problem landing. Landing it and smiling to myself, I look over to my Uncle who was gesturing for me to come over to him. So I did.

"Yeah?" I ask arriving in front of him and reaching for my water bottle and tissue from my RJ tissue box.  

"Skip practicing the jumps you're already sure you'll land. Proceed that's giving you a hard time during practice." Uncle Brian said. I look at him with my eyes widened. I was dreading to practice the quad loop. Sure I landed it during yesterday's skate but while we were practicing last night, I couldn't land even one quad loop, even with Yuzu teaching me himself. I landed everything else except for that one damn jump. Was it because of the disappointment I was feeling that day?

After hearing those words, my eyes immediately dart towards where Yuzu, my brother, and the others are. Though I try my hardest to hide it, I couldn't help but look at Yuzu with my eyes filled with worry. It was like telepathy but as soon as I looked at him, he nodded at me which means he already knows what my Uncle just told me to do. Yuzu gives me a smile for encouragement and gestured for me to go. 

Yuzu managed to lessen the anxiety I'm feeling but the fear of failing is still daunting to me. I nodded back to him in reply and smiled a little before looking back at my uncle. "Okay..."

I skate away and prepare for a quad loop. I can do this.

I close my eyes and jump but damn. I land on my ass a bit hard but it wasn't that painful. Tch. Again. Now I'm mad. Clenching my jaw, I stand up and shake the ice off my legs. Not even bothering to look at my uncle who was probably telling me to go to him, I go around the rink once again to attempt another quad sal. 

My eyes laser focus, I jump for the second time. This time, I'm still unsuccessful both my hands touching the ice to keep myself from falling. What the hell is wrong with this jump?!