Centuries

Chapter 19

Zoya and I led him back to where Willow and the Darkling were waiting for us. I wasn't sure about trusting a soldier we ran into in the middle of the forest but we didn't have a choice. And if he did anything remotely suspicious I would not hesitate to kill him and I made that very clear.

We found Willow and the Darkling sitting across from each other on a fallen log and laughing about something together. Aleksander's head snapped up when he saw us.

"You found a friend." Willow remarked

"Yes," the soldier stepped forward, "I'm trying to help you."

The Darkling's eyes narrowed, "What makes you think that we should trust someone we ran into in the middle of a forest?"

Willow smacked him in the back of the head. "We don't really have much of a choice. The General will find us soon." Willow argued.

"Well we have to have a better one than this." the Darkling replied.

"It's just one person we can kill easily." Willow complained, which earned her the middle finger from the Darkling.

"Excuse me-" the soldier cut in, the Darkling and Willow gave him an icy glare. "I'd rather not be murdered."

"I'd rather murder you." I couldn't tell if the Darkling was being sarcastic or not.

"He doesn't mean it he's just in a bad mood," Willow cut in, making the Darkling roll his eyes. "We're really grateful for your help. What's your name?" she asked.

"Corporal Kodi." he answered nervously.

"Shut the hell up." Zoya shouted, causing everyone to go silent.

"Someone will hear us." I whispered.

"Nice to meet you." Willow said to Kodi sweetly, which only confused him more.

After a bit more protesting from Aleksander about why we shouldn't trust Kodi, Willow convinced him that we should. Not fully, but enough for him to agree to coming with us to wherever he was taking us.

"Hurry up," I complained to the Darkling as he fell behind again.

"You try keeping up after being shot." he retorted.

I stayed behind with him anyways, I said to Willow and Zoya that I was being nice but in reality, I didn't feel like keeping up with their pace. The forest was growing thinner and we were moving further and further away from Janazain's camp.

"There's something else bothering you." I stated.

"Yeah, that we're probably walking into a trap."

"What if we aren't? Have you considered that not everyone wants to kill us, that maybe he's actually trying to help."

Aleksander sighed. "We need to be careful. We're losing the war and your power could be a turning point. We can't lose you. I can't lose you."

"And why can't you?" I asked.

I knew the answer. He felt for me. I knew there was no manipulation as there was before. Maybe I just wanted him to give me reassurance that he really did. If he did love me that meant I did my job and I could betray his heart and drive a bullet through it.

The Darkling turned away from me and didn't answer. What was he afraid of? Frustration simmered inside of me, I couldn't tell if it was at him for being like this or if it was at myself for falling for him despite my goals. I could perfectly picture Zoya's disapproving stare if I explained that we couldn't kill him.

He may have wanted to save Ravka to be safe now, he may have been  an ally now but I knew he would become an enemy eventually.

"Answer me," I blurted after a moment of quiet, "Is it that hard for you to not be an ass and be honest with yourself?"

"Yes, it is. I know that one day I'll lose you and everyone I love. It's easier to not act on love at all." he said, his gaze briefly flicked to me.

"You won't lose me," I replied. There was truth to my words.

I needed to find any other way to keep him from becoming a monster that wasn't killing him. I couldn't. I knew from the moment I landed in this war.

I stopped walking and came to his side. Then I kissed him. Instead of pulling me away he lifted me to his height and pressed his lips to mine.

"We need to catch up with everyone." I said after a moment,

I wanted to be this happy with him forever. And for the first time I had hope that I could be.

Aleksander was smiling like an idiot. But it quickly disappeared when he realized how far behind we were. "Saints," he laughed and picked up his pace.

Eventually we saw tents on the horizon, this camp was far smaller than the other one but it looked pretty normal. Willow waited for us and when she saw  Aleksander she burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked though he had started laughing with her,

"How oblivious you two were."

I had no idea how Willow could tell. Zoya was standing to the side, a disapproving scowl on her face. For once, I didn't care. I was the happiest I'd been in a long time. Since the winter feat. Also with Aleksander.

Aleksander rolled his eyes, "How do you?"

Willow wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "I've known you for years, you're not nearly as mysterious as you think." she teased.

Kodi was apparently notifying the commander of that camp that he had found us, as we waited Aleksander and I sat on one of the fallen trees and looked at the stars.

There were so many things to worry about. General Janazain would still hunt us down, Aleksander would still create the fold eventually. Zoya would still want me to see through my love and kill him. But for now, I could just be happy.

"It's taking too long, he should be back by now." Aleksander  said.

"Give him time." Willow responded

"He's right." Zoya added

Willow didn't argue, there was something wrong. All of us walked downhill to the camp. Before we were all the way there Zoya spotted Kodi's body. His throat had been slit, the blood already starting to dry.

"We should turn back." Zoya whispered.

"No. There's probably a lot of grisha here, it's why he was so willing to help." Aleksander said firmly.

Willow took the rifle Kodi had with him and led us closer. Standing in a clearing surrounded by drüskelle was General Janazain.

"I was wondering when you guys would get here." he said casually, as if he hadn't murdered several people.

Aleksander didn't hesitate to slice General Janazain in half with the cut. That was his mistake. General Janazain wanted him to start an attack. Someone fired a rifle from behind the tee and it hit Willow. She was dead before she hit the ground.

Aleksander rushed to her side, but any chance of helping her was gone.

"This was what he wanted," Zoya said, "He wanted us to be away from the camp because we're the most powerful grisha there. The Fijerdans will have a perfect chance to attack."

"Then we have to get back." I said, General Janazain must've had horses if he got here fast enough.

I looked at Aleksander. Tears were rolling down his cheeks. "We have to hurry, he has to have people working with him." he said.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I couldn't think of anything else to say, Willow died because of Aleksander's mistake. He ignored me.

"Over here!" Zoya called.

Aleksander and I followed her and found several horses.

We kept a fast pace as we rode the horses along the river.

"Do you have any idea what we should do?" I asked Aleksander.

"No, but I want revenge." he answered.

That was what I was afraid of. I was afraid he would become the monster I had come to deny he was.