InquisitorMaster One Shots [discontinued]

Where Did It Go Wrong? (Jadex/CharJade)

Lately, Jade and Charli have been getting closer. They always flirt, cuddle, and share their food.

They look so happy together. I've never seen Charli smile so much, and the way Jade looks at her is so soft and sweet. So gentle, like rabbit fur or stuffed animals. So sweet, like the sugar cookies you make on Christmas.

I wish she still looked at me that way.

It warmed my heart to see that smile. That look. Now it makes me feel cold. It makes me feel sad seeing that look directed towards Charli. I wish she still looked at me as if she loved me, it pains me to an extreme degree to see something I once loved given to someone else

It hurts, it hurts a lot.

I have to act like nothing's wrong because the way we felt was a secret I kept between only us. I just laugh along as the two girls flirt with each other, but it still hurts me inside. I'm a good actress, and I hate it.

I've stayed up hundreds of hours wondering why paradise slipped through my fingers like sand in a sieve.

I pull it in, I crave the attention and affection I once had, but it slips away before I can even get it.

I love it when Jade smiles at me. Even in platonic ways, her laughing at my jokes, or her just being friendly. It all makes my day a little better. But Charli doesn't even try and makes Jade happier than I could ever make her.

I wish I could let go of my gripes and move on, but I can't. I can't erase the feeling of her embrace. The way she held me tightly and kissed me. How she squeezed, not tightly, but enough to feel secure and safe in her arms. She held me like she was afraid to let go, afraid I'd disappear if she didn't.

I wish I hugged her like that. Maybe then I wouldn't have lost her.

"Alex?"

Hm?

Oh.

I snap out of my thoughts. That's right. I'm hanging out with my friends. We're out getting milkshakes as a group, for fun and all. I haven't taken a single sip of my milkshake yet. Too lost in my head I guess.

Though, it's hard to stay focused on the now when the past has such a tight hold on me. But who wouldn't feel like this after dating someone as amazing and Jade?

"Alex?" The voice persisted, as I tuned back in I realized who the voice belonged to.

"Yeah, yeah I'm here, don't worry, Jax!" I cheer, reassuring him. He nods, taking a sip of his milkshake.

"If you say so," He says, focusing back onto Levi as the two talked about whatever. I look over at Jade to see her and Charli drinking from the same glass.

Jade's laughter. The laughter that she could've shared with me. Only if I were Charli.

"It's really good, Jade!" Charli giggled, "wanna try mine?"

I watch as Jade nods, "Yeah!" She stuck her staw in Charli's shake and took a sip. I looked at her lips. They were so soft. I miss their feeling.

"So, what do ya think?" Charli asked, leaning on her elbows while giving Jade a cute smile.

Jade smiled at her. That smile. The one I used to love, but now hate to see it directed towards someone else. "It was really tasty," she began. I know where this is going, "But I think you're better~" She flirted, kissing Charli.

I shuttered, looking away. I leaned on my elbow and looked out the window at the passing crowd as people walked through the city.

"Hey, you doing okay?" A voice asked. Light. Considering how he feels for Charli, I wonder if I could get some moral support from him sometime. "Alex?" He asked again, I blinked, exiting my thoughts.

"Yep, I'm perfectly fine!" I reassure with a smile. Gotta keep up this act or else they'll get suspicious. But honestly, I just want to go home and lay in bed.

"You sure?" He pushed further. Don't do this to me, Light. I might break, and this isn't a very good place to cry.

I nod, humming a 'yes'. He nodded, he didn't look convinced but I assume he abided by my silent pleas. I stip my milkshake. It's sweet, as expected.

I think back to Jade. It's been getting worse. The heartbreak, I mean.

The taste of her kiss will never fade from my memory.

Jade catches my eye, must've been staring. I give her a small smile and she returns it. If I wasn't feeling so awful, I'd feel better from it.

It was so sudden when she stopped loving me. First we were make out buddies, then girlfriends, and then, one day, we slowly stopped seeing each other. Jade told me she'd rather be friends, and in a panicked shock I agreed. And we've never done anything together sense.

She's moved on, she took my heart and ran, I can't chase after her or else everyone would know. My heart strings are still attached and I don't have the guts to cut them.

I long to feel like how I did a few months back. I just want to tell her to kiss me, to take me for one night. I want to feel that happiness again.

I watch Jade kiss Charli on the cheek. They're smiling and laughing, so happy. I wish I was that happy.

I can't do this.

"Hey squad," I announce, grabbing my purse and getting up, "I'm gonna head home. Got a ton of work to do, y'know?" That was true, but I've been slacking off recently due to this heartache. I hate it, I wish I could chop off my heart strings. I can't keep feeling like this, it's killing me.

"You sure?" Jade checks. Don't do this to me, please, "You haven't even finished your milkshake."

I give her my brightest smile, "Wasn't that thirsty, you can have it if you want!" I offer sweetly. Sickeningly sweet. She looked confused. That was fine with me, I just walked out and drove home.

What if I just told her? What if I got one more kiss? I want her. So many what if questions are clouding my head, I just wish I could make it all go quiet.

When I park and go inside, I immediately go to my room and flop on the bed. I look to my side before lazily rolling on my back to face the ceiling. Jade and I used to cuddle here, in this bed. We'd watch a movie or take a nap.

How she'd braid my hair and kiss my forehead. Her hug as she let me sleep on her, listening to her breathe. Some things will never fade.

I wish I were Charli right now.

I wish I could just move on.

...

Yeah sorry for not posting for a while. I'm uninspired and unmotivated, major writer's block, y'know?

Because of that, this chapter might've sucked. It was just a little idea I had. Might make a sequel, who knows. Not as good as my other writing and I wish I could write more often.

Also, sorry for this chapter being short. Might delete it later. It's bad compared to my usual standards.