Alice in Borderland ~ Chishiya

59

As soon as I turn the corner, I walk straight to the room where the meeting will be held later. I have never gone there, but I did walk by a number of times and I saw on the sign in the hallway that this is the room in question. At first I felt relief that I brushed off my parents with this excuse, but at the moment I feel annoyed that I'm stuck with it now. Now I have to participate. Nikita will be happy.

Would my parents notice if I don't go? Would they walk past this room and look in to check on me? I'd rather not see them now, so I open the door and go inside. I immediately notice how homely it's furnished. A pleasant atmosphere has clearly been created so that patients feel safe and secure. But maybe it just feels that way to me, because my eyes fall on the beautiful piano. Being alone here makes me very motivated to walk there and run my fingers over the keys.

My heart starts to beat faster and a warm feeling spreads through my body. I'm not yet ready to stand up to my parents, but I do know that I want to pick up playing again. I check again to see if there's no one there and sit on the piano stool. I try to warm myself up before I start playing the song that first comes to mind.

'I was left to my own devices. Many days fell away with nothing to show. And the walls kept tumbling down in the city that we love.. Grey clouds roll over the hills, bringing darkness from above..'

I do as the next phrase says and close my eyes.

'But if you close your eyes,' I sing. I feel myself completely being taken over by the music and there's nothing else anymore. 'Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all? And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like you've been here before? How am I gonna be an optimist about this? How am I gonna be an optimist about this?'

I keep playing and singing and feel the joy go through my body. I arrive at the part that I think about most in my head.

'Oh, where do we begin? The rubble or our sins? Oh, oh, where do we begin? The rubble or our sins?'

What do we tackle first? What should we look at most? The mess that has been created, or our own share in it?

I finish the song and let the last notes sound through the room. I hold the warm feeling and can do nothing but smile. I notice that I still have my eyes closed. When I open them again, I smile at the piano for a moment. Then, my gaze falls on something else. From the corner of my eye I see something that I hadn't seen there before, so I look at it. I try to hide my shock, but of course the silver-blonde-haired boy noticed.

At first he says nothing, but then he mumbles: 'I'm sorry, I didn't want to eavesdrop on you, but I had nowhere else to be.' Is he also coming for the meeting? Why else would he be here? I glance at the clock and see that it won't start for another ten minutes. 'You're ten minutes early,' I tell him. 'You are, too,' he bounces back. For a moment we just look at each other, before he sighs. I try to find out if he's really annoyed, but as soon as that reaction came, it's gone again. It reminds me of the moment I ran into him in the hallway earlier today. He approaches me and sits down on a soft chair. Then he sighs again.

'I didn't really want to come to this stupid meeting at all,' he says, 'but the guy in my room keeps whining and I really can't stand it.' So he isn't here completely voluntarily. He had no intention of coming here, but he didn't want to stay in his room either. He didn't like to be with his roommate and I didn't like to be with my parents. 'Does that really surprise you?' I ask. 'I heard he's covered in burns.' The boy shrugs. 'Yeah,' he replies, 'that's very annoying for him, but not getting my night's rest is also annoying.'

I look at him to see if he means that. He does. He really doesn't care about the boy in his room. What do I think about that? Does it matter? He doesn't know him at all, so why should he care? As if all those people I saw in the cafeteria cared. I think about that guy who queued behind me, that Yuri. He had been unkind to me, too. Why should we care about people we don't know?